Thursday, December 4, 2008

A Few Random Thoughts

Today is one of those days where my mind is on a run through many random issues. I would like to enlighten you. Allow you into my world for a moment should you have not been so fortunate to previously visit. Some things are bothering me, others just requiring and answer that eludes me. The elusiveness may be just a result of copious amounts of cold meds recreating "The Fog" in my brain as I type. I am actually in a fairly good mood, (not as a result of the haze) which is surprising since it's Thursday, and I'm still sick, have been since Tuesday. Life is not so bad though, I'm easier to please than many would suspect.

I read in the news some stuff about those quirky car manufacturers who need a bailout. Trying very hard to get that bailout again. I ask you, if I gleefully withdrew all of my dollars from the bank and lit them on fire in the street because I could, and then asked the government to replace them, would they? I don't think that they would. Is this not very similar to what these car manufacturers did? Is a salary payment of tens or even hundreds of millions of dollars per year to a CEO not the same as burning ones money? Is giving this same CEO a clause that says he/she will receive $50 million on severance of the contract if done by the company really necessary? Isn't this comparable to this CEO taking the taxpayers pillow, on which we rest our heads, laughing and pointing at us while he is squatting and dropping deuce on it as we stand by helpless?

At these same companies they continue to pump out vehicles that get 12 miles to a gallon in a country where people constantly fear the rise and fall of fuel costs. Giant pickup trucks that nobody wants... well, aside from people who have a genuine need to haul shit, and men with small dicks and a genuine need to prove something. Then they sit and wonder why nobody will buy their shit and instead drive little foreign cars that practically run on progressive thoughts. I can't figure it out either guys, keep making pickup trucks and big honkin' SUVs and one day the answer will appear.

The final thing and my favorite, The Union. The union once had it's place in the United States at least. The union still has it's place in some businesses I'm sure (though I do not know where). I am now pegged as a "company man" by many I'm sure, well to you who can understand this I say bugger off you wanker! For the most part the union is far more corrupt than most of th evil corporations from which it claims to be protecting the employees. There is a point at which it must stop. I know this point.

When somebody has attended college and has a degree makes $20 an hour and another individual who literally cannot read makes $30 then something is wrong. If your job is to apply the lug nuts to the right front wheel of cars on an assembly line for 8 hours a day you are not worthy of what I am quite sure you are making at the GM or Ford plant. When your job is to clean up the shit off the floor because the lug nut guy from the right front wheel couldn't hit the toilet, you also do not deserve this kind of pay.

I know it's a shitty job (pun intended) but you have the shitty job not because of your talent or ability to do something others cannot, but because of your education which ended with your dropping out of school in 5th grade. I have worked with union bulldozer operators who made $32 an hour and averaged no more than 2 hours out of an 8 hour shift inside a bulldozer. The remainder of that time was spent eating, reading magazines, playing cards, and drinking coffee. The union has just as much fault in the death of these facilities as anything else. I would move my company to Indonesia too simply out of spite. I see no good reason to pay some slack-ass ridiculous wages to do a job a trained monkey can do.

I'm all about bailout, we need the jobs but it should never be done without significant changes in the rules of operation and that includes no fat cat deals for CEOs or ridiculous union bullshit! The CEOs who were in power when the company got into this trouble should also be banished and forced to join a mine detection and removal team in Cambodia.

On another note. Why was dueling made illegal? I see no reason why two consenting adults should not have the right to shoot one another assuming that they are willing to sign a disclaimer stating that no medical care shall be provided based on wounds received in such activities. This could even be turned into a Sunday morning thing for those of us who do not attend church. It would be delightful and wholesome fun for the family.

Why must we try to "rehabilitate" psychopathic murderers and child molesters? When did the first bleeding heart liberal appear and how did these people take over? Who was it? What would be so terribly wrong about taking two men who killed or raped an innocent person, and using them to test cosmetics, experimental drugs, and invisible parachutes. Why can't we give one of them a gladius and shield, the other a trident and net and sell tickets to see them at Yankee Stadium? Think of the revenue this could bring in for state governments. Think of the money this would save when compared to paying for education, cable television, weight rooms, meals, sanitation, and all the other shit that is provided to death row inmates while they live better than many people who have done nothing wrong on the outside.

There's an article on yahoo news about inmates in a Milwaukee jail who can volunteer to clean up blood, shit, and vomit when there is a need. For every hour spent cleaning such things the inmate gets one hour taken off their sentence. That's super fun. How about this. They're in jail, we just force them to do it and if they don't like it we beat them with a tube sock filled with wood screws until they do like it.

In California the news says that the ban on gay marriage is driven by religion. It's a good thing they told me this because otherwise I would have never guessed. Come to think of it, isn't the ban on nearly everything that is ever banned usually driven by religion? The only other thing would be as a result of some public official realizing that banning something would create a niche for people to break a law, get arrested, and have fines imposed on them that could then help fund useless government crap. I can't see how gay marriage would create very many matrimonial gay outlaws so it had to be religion.

I hate the song "Sheena Is a Punk Rocker." I like the Ramones and punk music. I think it is partly because of Sheena. Who the fuck named their child that? Has anybody ever met a person named Sheena?

I think Britney Spears would make a great a addition to the L.A. Zoo. She could reside in a habitat between the chimpanzees and the concession stand. There would be a small dispenser by her cage where you could insert a quarter and get a handful of amphetamines which she would sloppily lick from your hand. Watch your fingers children!

I don't think global warming is a bad thing. They blame the increasing frequency and destructiveness of hurricanes on global warming. That would mean that Katrina was caused by global warming. That would mean that global warming was responsible for cleaning up that crime ridden rats nest of a city. Yeah yeah I know they have Mardi Gras but that's what, 1 week a year, the rest of the time the place was not worth much. I'm not sad. In fact, I feel like burning a plastic cup.

Has anybody ever been in a company meeting that was productive? Was something accomplished in that meeting? If so what was it? All of the meetings I've ever been in were used to tell me things that either did not effect me, or that I was already aware of. Couldn't a memo easily save 2 or 3 hours of time? Complete removal of all meetings might save enough time to allow employees to work 7 instead of 8 hour days. This would result in significantly elevated employee morale. The higher moral would result in higher productivity. Higher productivity would result in higher profit and less to complain about, resulting in lower need for meetings. Eventually it's possible that the same amount of work could be done in 20 hours as is now done in 40. Society would be happier, marriages would last longer, suicides and depression rates would drop to a fraction of what they are. We would once again be a happy and productive superpower of a country and all because of lack of meetings. Then we would hold a meeting about how we might be able to manage to squeeze more work out employees and it would all vanish. Stupid greedy Americans.

1 comment:

Garry R. said...

That is crazy good stuff.. great writing!