Tuesday, February 24, 2009

Octo Idiot Still In The News

LOS ANGELES – In a videotaped squabble with her mother posted Monday on a gossip Web site, the woman who gave birth to octuplets said she had no choice but to use the embryos she had because her only other option was to destroy them.

"I'm not going to destroy the embryos, period. Done, done, done," Nadya Suleman told her mother in an interview videotaped last week and posted by RadarOnline.com. "You can't go back and alter the past."

Angela Suleman had told her daughter that "you should have considered your six other children" before going through the in vitro fertilization procedure that led to her to give birth to another eight children last month.

"They were frozen and you did not have to do anything," Angela Suleman said.

"They were lives," her daughter responded. "... You either use them or destroy them."

Nadya Suleman said donating the embryos to someone else was not an option. "I couldn't even fathom the idea of having my own children out in the world" without knowing them, she said.

Video Of Argument Here

Those children could only be so lucky to be out in the world with some other parents, never knowing their "real mother". Little bastards don't stand a chance. I sincerely hope all her "offered help" falls through, the kids get taken away, and she ends up living under a bridge in a broken down car in Oakland. What a fucking idiot. I feel sorry for this woman's mother, I bet she believes in abortion now.

Blanket Boy Turkey Gun Murderer

PITTSBURGH – An 11-year-old boy apparently covered his shotgun with a blanket to keep it hidden when he left his bedroom, went downstairs and fatally shot his father's pregnant girlfriend in the head as she slept, a prosecutor said Monday.

The blue blanket, which has a quarter-sized hole that appeared to be singed from a shotgun blast, supports a claim that the crime was premeditated, Lawrence County District Attorney John Bongivengo said.

Police found the blanket in the farmhouse where the boy, Jordan Brown, lived with his father; the father's girlfriend, Kenzie Marie Houk; and her two daughters, ages 7 and 4. Houk was killed Friday morning while Brown's father was at work and the two girls were in the home, authorities believe.

"The operating theory is that he covered the gun with the blanket to hide it when he came downstairs" from his bedroom to shoot Houk, who was in a first-floor bedroom, Bongivengo said. "It wasn't used to muffle (the shot) or anything, the blanket wasn't thick enough for that."

Brown got the youth-sized shotgun as a Christmas present, and used it to win a turkey shoot on Valentine's Day.

Now I love guns, don't get me wrong. Guns are top 5 on my list of favorite things. I've been around them since I was a child. The thing is that I always knew my dad would snap off my legs and beat me to a bloody puree if I even entertained the thought of touching the things without his permission and supervision. Why are eleven year olds getting guns and having full access to them while pops is at work? Oh yeah, it's Pennsylvania, hillbilly capital of the North East.

I'm sure he didn't mean it. Let's blame it on video games and violent television. I'm sure we'll spend an assload of money trying to "rehabilitate" mini-murderer. For all of those who say "he's only eleven, he probably didn't realize the extent of the consequences" I say fuck off. When I was eleven I was fully aware that if I made something dead it would stay that way, for this reason amongst many, I didn't make things dead. Psycho is psycho and this kid should be aborted along with his idiotic father. Then again I'm sure a couple years in ass raping prison and he'll be a fine, upstanding citizen.

Monday, February 23, 2009

Some Random Thoughts For The Day

1. Keeping Up With The Kardishians?... What has occurred? I watched 6 minutes of this show today. My IQ once tested rather high but I fear I just lost several points. There appears to be no purpose to this programme. Does this surprise me? No, not really. There are simply several people who appear to be related and rather wealthy. These wealthy, related people fuck about and ultimately accomplish nothing. I think this type of shit is getting out of hand. At least when it was Paris Hilton who had a television show her uselessness was slightly overshadowed for several seconds at a time by the blinky eye.


2. I was driving home from work the other day and something occurred that I found hilarious. I forgot to put it on here and I feel that it deserves to be added. I'm following a green dodge neon that looked a lot like this car (only dark green).


This particular neon wasn't all green, one door was primer gray, and one wheel was a donut. You know, the little tire for replacement when you get a flat. You know, the type that you aren't supposed to drive farther than 50 miles on or faster than 45 miles per hour or something like that. This neon was equipped with a performance muffler (gotta have the fart tube) and a wing. Straight fast an furious style wing too. If it wasn't this exact wing, it looked just like it.


With one racing rim, two black ones, one donut, a wing, and fart tube, this dude was ready to destroy the competition.

Little did I know, I was to be that competition. So speed racer is driving along at roughly 40 mph which just so happens to be 5 miles per hour slower than the speed limit. My only guess is that it's difficult to maintain speed and work the carb on your bong at the same time. I waited and waited and he didn't speed up. Finally a passing zone came so I clicked my turn signal and began to go around him. This was the signal for our protagonist to wake the sleeping giant which was his roaring beast of a 4 cylinder engine (which I'm quite sure was only running on 2 or 3).

I get half way around an my scally friend decides to floor it. What could I do? Slow down and just give up the pass? Not likely. I hit the gas too. Apparently my extra cylinder was enough to give me the necessary edge. He accelerated, I accelerated. I began to pull a slight lead, he kept on it. I pulled farther up and he kept trying. He kept on it and I could hear the roar (not a good roar). All of the sudden there was a bang like a gunshot going off. Black smoke begins to pour from his car and he quickly begins losing speed. I watched in my rear view as his car coasted to a stop on the side of the road. His girlfriend in the front seat, his friend in the back. I could almost feel the disappointment in their car for their imagined loss of pink slip for his tuned up racer.

For a second I thought maybe I should feel bad for him, losing such a treasure as that awesome, high speed power plant under his hood, but only for a second. I realized that he was going to lose his girlfriend to somebody with an even cooler car. Probably a chevy cavalier with a bigger fart tube and more impressive wing. This is how things go in the world of high stakes redneck racing, you have to stay on top to keep the girl, he knew it when he got involved. I ain't saying she's a gold digger but she ain't hanging wit no broke wiggers.

I take solace in knowing that he cried himself to sleep that night, a broken man. For the next two weeks he will tear apart broken leaf blowers and lawn mowers in a desperate attempt to get his pride and joy up and running again. He'll be back on the roads soon, striking terror into the heart of all those who dare challenge his reign of the roads. I wish him the best in his quest for future domination.

3. I drove to Virginia for the weekend, as I always do. I'm kinda starting to enjoy it. It's time to myself, to think, and listen to my coveted audiobooks. Maybe it's simply the end result that I love so much, I think that's probably it. Point being I look forward to it all week. I look forward to it until I get to the beltway. What a fucking atrocity. There are far to many people on this road and I always hit at rush hour.

Why can't people drive? This is not a difficult task. Every single person must jockey for a better lane. Choosing the proper lane on the beltway is like standing in front of 4 heavyweight boxers and trying to decide which one you would like to punch you in the face. You aren't going to win no matter how hard you try. If people would just stay out of the right lane so that cars can move onto the road, and stay in their own lane so others don't have to constantly hit the brakes, shit would work out, I promise.

Instead, people insist on weaving back and forth from this side to that like a drunk in a titty bar. With each reckless lane change, 2 miles of cars in three lanes behind have to slam on their brakes. Traffic comes to a crawl and idiots eventually and inevitably slam into one another. Every single little thing brings traffic to a halt. I would rather drive for 2 hours at speed limit than sit for a half hour fucking around. It never fails that as soon as traffic stops I realize I have to piss. My blood pressure rises to dangerous levels, and I wish I had the truck from Mad Max so I could just plow them out of the way. My goddamn GPS said 24 minutes to arrival for at least 34 minutes.

It never fails that in roughly 20 miles I pass at least 2 accidents. I always think the same thing to myself. Somebody better fucking be dead! Nobody ever is dead and I find this disheartening, I know they'll be back driving like an asshole next time, causing more accidents. This past trip there were three cars in one "fender bender". This was a weak ass accident. There were no fire trucks, no medics, just two cop cars. All 5 cars are parked on the median well out of the way of traffic and they'd obviously been there for a while. Still, every single asshole has to slow down and rubberneck to see what the fuck has occurred. I have a great plan. How about you fucking idiots just drive. Pay the fuck attention to what you're doing and get where you're going. It is none of your business what has happened and you can't drive when you are concentrating on it so stop worrying about what they're doing.

My trip always takes an extra hour because of you ass clowns. I just hope that the same fate befalls everybody who slows traffic just to get a good look at the misfortune of others. I really need to find a better way to get where I'm going.

4. I'll never drink Samuel Adams beer again. That awful shit tried to kill me this past weekend!

Friday, February 20, 2009

Lawrence Fisshburne, The View, Racism, Fucking Wankers

The Philosophers of the ages, the gossiping windbags on the view recently decided to discuss what else... RACISM!

First topic was the controversial comic in the New York Post that shows police shooting a chimpanzee with the caption that they will have to find someone else to sign the next stimulus bill.

They said that the paper is getting a lot of controversy because of the racist connotations in the cartoon.

Of course it's racist... it's not like it was comparing Obama to a reckless animal pushing forth a ridiculous and completely irresponsible stimulus package, to a reckless chimp mauling a woman (also stupid). Never could it have been that.

They bitched that if you made comments about President Bush you were considered unpatriotic.

Did that stop anybody from doing it? NO!

They said that she is all for free speech, but this is not even a funny comic.

What's funny is that Americans are so preprogrammed like good little bitches to find racism that they sniff it out where it doesn't exist.

They said that the Post said that it was humor, but it was disingenuous because they knew it was a provocation and that people would have that response.

People need to let it go and fucking relax on this shit.

They said that the guy who did the comic is also very homophobic and has comics about fat women.

Of course he is... dig for shit that doesn't exist to discredit him. It's called social satire you fucks.

They said that comics like this were once used as propaganda to oppress people and we need to be mindful of that.

Whitey needs to stop keeping the black man down!

They said that we have a responsibility to teach the next generation and that children are truly colorblind.

We have the responsibility to shut the fuck up and let the kids grow up on their own. When you constantly have to tell them that people of color aren't different that's when they start thinking about it, that's where the problems start. If you just leave them alone there is no racism. This shit is passed down and it's mostly passed down now by the people who claim to want rid of it so badly.

Laurence Fishburne appeared on the show to talk about his role on CSI.


This turned to how "monumental" it is for a black man to replace a white man in a major role on a series."

Are you fucking kidding me?

He thinks the Post comic was very racist and it was great to hear them talking about it on the show. He said that racism is the “family disease” of the country and we are afraid to talk about it because of the shame associated with it, on both sides, either being descended from slave owners or descended from slaves. He said that Lincoln said that we need to mourn the national tragedy of slavery and that has still not happened. He thinks there should be a national ceremony to acknowledge the legacy of slavery, because it affects everyone.

Lawrence, you my friend are a racist fuck. You are no different than Al Sharpton or Jesse Jackson and people like you who cry race over everything are the problem. You have more money than god, what the fuck is it that you think you is the problem again? You race-mongering assholes need to just shut your mouths. I'm so sick of hearing it, it's soon going to make me racist!

Clickable Thumbnail

They asked him whether he thinks that his children are colorblind and Laurence said that he does not think it is true, because no one is without preconceived notions and people are categorized as part of our culture.

And people like Mr. Raceburne are the one categorizing. The poor oppressed black man vs. slave driving, evil whitey.

They said that it is hard for whites to have friends who are black because of the way society is set up.

Laurence set that may be true because of sort of an institutional racism and how things are set up.

Keep playing the race card motherfuckers! You are the problem, you're the racists and you're the ones who make race the issue. I never owned a slave, my parents never owned a slave, my grandparents didn't own slaves, their grandparents came here from Europe, from Ireland, and got treated as lesser people, worked hard, and made their way. You've never been a slave, your parents have never been slaves, your grandparents have never been slaves, and most of you don't even know an actual ancestor who was, if you even have one. People have been fucking with the Jews since the beginning of written time and you don't hear them pissing and moaning like whiny little bitches! If you don't like it stand up, shut up, and work to fix it instead of telling everybody else they need to fix it for you. Go fucking drown yourselves!

Obama Pissing Off Our Only Ally?


A bronze bust of the former prime minister Sir Winston Churchill, which British Government loaned to George W Bush in the wake of the 9/11 attacks as a symbol of the strong transatlantic relationship, has now been handed back.

The Telegraph quoted a British Embassy spokesman, as saying: It was lent for the first term of office of President Bush. When the President was elected for his second and final term, the loan was extended until January 2009. The new President has decided not to continue this loan and the bust has now been returned. It is on display at the Ambassador’’s Residence.

The bronze bust is a Sir Jacob Epstein creation worth hundreds of thousands of pounds. When British officials offered to let Obama continue hanging it in the White House, his reply was Thanks, but no thanks. Obama openly cited the words and works of his hero Abraham Lincoln and now since taking over the presidency, a bust of Lincoln sits in the Oval Office.

The rejection of the bust has made some British officials nervous over how much influence the UK can wield with the new regime in Washington, and may force Gordon Brown to think about offering an alternative symbol of Anglo-American camaraderie when he visits Washington to meet Obama for the first time since he became President.

Article Found Here

How much influence the UK can wield? Hmmm, I'm not sure I care about that so much and I happen to like the UK, even though, sadly, they seem to be as fucked up as we are. My problem is the Obamessiah. Let me tell you a secret you fucking wanker! As soon as the rest of the world realizes that shit isn't going to change, that you're a goddamn retard too, the UK is going to remember this shit. It's nice that Obama likes the Lincoln and what not but big Abe isn't the black man's hero either. Sure the Abe-miester wanted to free slaves but then he wanted them to go back to Africa.

"If as the friends of colonization hope, the present and coming generations of our countrymen shall by any means, succeed in freeing our land from the dangerous presence of slavery; and, at the same time, in restoring a captive people to their long-lost father-land, with bright prospects for the future; and this too, so gradually, that neither races nor individuals shall have suffered by the change, it will indeed be a glorious consummation."

My point?... Obama doesn't know his history? Maybe... More likely it's that Obama is just another rash jackass with no foreign policy experience and no business running the oval office. All I hear is complaints about racism and the only racism is coming from the left (black AND white) radicals who make everything a race issue. If you want racism to die in American shut the fuck up and stop being racist you moronic Obamatrons.

Sending back a gift from one of the only countries who doesn't fucking hate us and actually backs us up is a bad fucking idea. As much as I hate to see our country in the disaster that idiot Bush caused, I would hate more to see Obama succeed. Selfish, yeah, but I'm sick of the "fuck off whitey, we have a black president" bullshit getting thrown in my face. Fuck your grandfather, and fuck you Obama, you'll never be half the leader Churchill was.

Long Day

What a night. I had a lovely 3 hour drive, two of which were in on and off style white-out conditions. I nearly died twice as a result of a car that's too light catching 9 foot snow drifts half way into the shitty country roads on the way home from work. If I were the type of driver who thinks "oh shit" instead of "relax, how can I minimize the disaster" I would have ended up wrong-side-up in a ditch. Fucking heroing.

As soon as I get where I'm going I call my girlfriend who's just leaving work. She is walking toward and eventually talks to a police officer standing in the street with a rifle. Apparently she can't get to her car in the parking garage because there is some whack-job wielding a gun in a standoff with police. That makes me feel better, it's good to know those people are there. I'm just thankful she didn't get out of work a bit sooner. That's scary fucking shit when you think about it. I'm just thankful the cops beat her there. The thing I don't understand is that if the guy has no hostages, why have a standoff. A sniper's bullet would cost taxpayers a dollar or two. Putting this asshole in prison will cost $40,000 a year or so. That's what we employ swat snipers for. Lets create one more job cleaning up the guy's tiny little brain and call it a day. He'll just get out in a minor amount of time and be doing the same goddamn thing! Kill the crazy fuck and call it a day.

So now I'm sitting in a comfort inn somewhere in Pennsylvania. The room is actually really nice. The place appears to be clean, the bathroom is nice. I was happy... until I had a shower. It turns out that the dial for the water goes 360 degrees. It also just happens that only 3 of those degrees, not even the three one would suspect, result in a reasonable water temperature. I come to find out, after about 12 minutes, that it's somewhere between 23 and 26 degrees or so on that dial that I can actually stand under the water. I went from showering with Siberian ice water pouring on my hypothermic brain, to standing under the falling flow of something that victims of Pompeii would recognize, and back again several hundred times. Even once I got the right temperature, it continued to rise and rise until it burned and I changed it again. I still don't understand the water, and the burns will heal, but at least I know I'll need an extra hour to adjust the shower in the morning.

I just can't wait to get the day over tomorrow and get to Virginia to see my girlfriend. That seems to be the only time my blood pressure drops to human levels and my heart rate doesn't resemble that of a hummingbird (at least, not for bad reasons). I don't know what I would do without you luv.

Who The Hell Decided That 80's Fashion Should Make A Comeback?!?!

I've let this one go for a long time but I feel that's it's now time to say something. What the hell is up with 80's fashion coming back? Now I know this shit goes in cycles but I would have thunk that people would know better. Some of you may say it's because I'm getting old, maybe that's the case, fact of the matter is though, I'm not even "middle aged". I'm told I do alright for myself fashion wise, I'm no disaster, in fact I get called "metro" a lot. I'm perfectly alright with metro, I think that's probably a good thing. I think I've only barely crossed the southern border of that category. Yes I read GQ, and yes I attempt to pay attention to it. I don't mind being called "Hollywood" at work. All things considered, I don't consider myself a fashion guru, I think too much is weird. I grew up in the country, so I know where to draw the line.

That being said, there is a fine line between looking "fashionable", and being a trend whore who looks like a spastic retard with a coke problem and a bad case of color blindness. I was too young and arguably "un-hip" when the 80's was in full swing last time, so I never really managed to take part. Years later, I would thank god for that if I believed in a god. There is simply some shit that is too terrifying to allow it to be resurrected and the 80's is one of these things. The saddest part of all of it as that if you walk around small towns just about anywhere, you can find a disturbing mix of two age groups partaking.

The first group you'll notice is the people who are a couple years older than me all the way up to early 40's. These people had so much fun in the real 80's that they've somehow gotten stuck in a horrifying time vortex that seems to prevent them from leaving. These are the people who still sport the mullet (business up front, party in the back), and hair so big and poofy that it requires a whole can of aerosol hairspray and 2 hours work just to get it in place. What the fuck are they thinking? Nobody will truly ever know for sure. If you were to manage a look inside their heads you would likely retain the mental scars until alzheimers finally brings relief. Nobody wants to wake up in night sweats, terrified that the hair is attacking.



The second group is the kids who didn't witness the horror of the 80's fashion firsthand. These are the types who fit into my category of trend whores. There really isn't a lot to say about them, kids will be kids, they could be doing worse shit than dressing like a neon paint store exploded on them.

My question is what the hell is appealing about this shit. I would laugh at you less if you dressed like you just stepped out of the late 1700's in France.


That doesn't look any more ridiculous than 80's gear, I will stand by that. Now there is somewhat of a double standard that I must agree should stand. The first thing would be skinny jeans. This is something that I think too many people do not have the self awareness to decide for themselves. Let me just say that some women can pull it off. There are about 30% or so of females who it not only works for, but it can be hot if paired with the right match of other clothing but this is not it.


I'll be the first to admit that my girlfriend owns them and I happen to really like them on her. The winning factor is being tall and having the body of a model. I'm not trying to brag her up, I'm trying to paint a picture. If you're short and lumpy it just isn't going to work, look in a mirror.



Seriously? Are these people totally serious? Nobody wants to see this. If your jeans give you a muffin top please don't bother. The majority of you need to leave the skinny jeans to people who might actually want to buy this product.

Click The Thumbnail To Enlarge And Read

Now for the guys. Just don't bother. I don't care how nice you think your ass might be, it's not. Unless you're actually trying to pick up other guys, you're on the wrong track, trust me. Do you like the feeling of having your little eggs smashed up into your pelvic cavity like the front end of a geo that just ran into the side of a Denny's? Do you know that these jeans make your ass look like the rear view of an upright standing frog wearing spandex? Your my arms are bigger than your thies and that is just laughable. For christ sake... does anybody actually think this looks good?




If the message that you are trying to portray is that your balls smell like ladies underwear then by all means have at it but you look like a fairy. Better yet, you look like this group of unichs.


I have never before been witness to a more homoerotic sight than these flaming toolbags. Do the world a favor, don't look like them! Now I will admit, that even if I wanted to I couldn't pull this off. I'm 200 pounds and slightly top heavy from being a bodybuilder who hates working legs. I know I would look even more ridiculous than you do, but that doesn't mean you can do it.

80's hair, just avoid it. It's bad, it's a disaster, it's an atrocity. Parents, don't let your kids do it either for fuck sake. Look at these people.


That is child abuse. If you look like you just piled out of a two tone '86 firebird after a hearty race through a Jamesway parking lot, there is a problem.


You can't tell me that these dudes don't look like they enjoy putting things up their bums. What about this guy?


Jesus H. Christ on a stick. What can I say about that. Leave the big hair alone and leave the hangbang alone. I'm ashamed to say I had hair like that when I was 12ish and a skater... sort of, sans the highlights. Don't.

Neon colors, shoes, clothes, slotted fucking window blind glasses? What, what, what!?!? Why? You look like a fucking retarded circus clown.


I would be more likely to take this guy seriously.


There is simply no excuse whatsoever. I take that back... there are two. If you're trying to look like a clown, or you're being facetious and on your way to one of those favorite pastimes of white people... an 80's party. These are the only reasons.

New York Fashion Week brought to light the worst of the worst recently with what I believe is designer Alvin Valley and his fucking huge shouldered women's "power dress" gear.




That just looks absolutely ridiculous. Now I've got some big shoulders all things considered, but the last thing I want is my girlfriend having bigger shoulders than me. How does that look good? It doesn't.

My point of all this is that too many people fail to have the capacity to realize when they look like a fucking idiot and too many others don't have the balls to say it. I'm not one of those people. You look like a fucking idiot. Let's let the 80's go... better yet, let's kill the 80's, bury it, and forget about it forever. My eyes hurt, my brain hurts, and I really just want it to stop. Why? You're going to look back someday, and think "what the fuck was I thinking". If you don't, you're going to be one of those people perpetually stuck and still being laughed at when you're 40 for looking like a bad joke.









Simply tragic. Drop it please. I beg of you.

Wednesday, February 18, 2009

Captive Sunday School Audience


An Ohio man held a woman captive in handcuffs and an adult diaper for three days while he read Bible passages to her, police said. Troy Brisport, 34, was charged with kidnapping and felonious assault. Bail was set Tuesday at $400,000.
He picked up the woman Wednesday night in Detroit after she told him she had nowhere to stay, and brought her to his home in Toledo, about 55 miles away, police said.
The woman told police that after she fell asleep Brisport handcuffed her wrists and ankles, gagged her, undressed her and put her in an adult diaper, then read Bible passages, said police Capt. Ray Carroll.

She apparently was not sexually assaulted, Carroll said. However, court documents alleged that Brisport tried several times to suffocate the woman using a pillow and blanket. The woman told police she escaped Saturday after Brisport fell asleep. Police found her dressed only in a T-shirt and the adult diaper and still wearing handcuffs. There was no immediate response Tuesday to a call seeking comment from jail officials, and there was no indication whether Brisport had an attorney to speak for him.

Now obviously the woman is a fucking idiot too, but you don't see some nutter pulling this type shit to read Kurt Vonnegut, that's all I'm saying. Where the fuck do these people come from? I'm sure he'll get a couple hundred hours community service and a couple anti-retardation classes and he'll be off looking for more victims. Yay America!

Full Article Here

Gothic Cats?

I saw this shit before when it first came out but for some reason I failed to pitch my bitch about it. Before I do, here's the deal.

A Pennsylvania dog groomer has been ordered to stand trial on animal cruelty charges for selling "gothic kittens" with ear, neck and tail piercings. Holly Crawford's home outside Wilkes-Barre was raided Dec. 17 after the county Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals got a tip.



Actual Story Here

A prosecutor says Crawford inflicted pain on the cats, which were listed for sale for hundreds of dollars on the Internet. Crawford's attorney says state law says nothing about piercing cats or docking their tails. At a preliminary hearing Tuesday, Wilkes-Barre District Judge Paul Hadzick called it a gray area that needs to be decided by a trial judge or jury. Charges against a second defendant, William Blansett, were dropped after Crawford admitted she pierced the cats.

I'm far from a raging PETA nutbag animal rights activist. Now that being said, these are domesticated animals. Creatures who's soul purpose is to be loving companions to an often despicable, piece of shit species called humans. These animals depend on us for care, love, and in many cases their very survival. Most often they show unconditional love even to people who don't even deserve the courtesy of energy spent delivering a swift kick to the teeth and this is a perfect example.

If you are this goddamn retarded to pierce a fucking cat, or a dog or any other "house pet" you should be punished as though you have restrained and assaulted an unwilling human. If I took a retarded kid and filled him with ridiculous metal trinkets my ass would go to jail for a long ass time. Do you think this fucking idiot will? I doubt it. I propose that we sentence her 20 years of body piercing apprentice practice sessions. We should let them fill her with so many piercings that if an MRI machine is fired up within 20 miles she will literally fly to it like superman on crystal meth.

Here's a completely unrelated incident I found just looking for the photos linked to this story. What about this silly fat fuck. I think he needs about six years in the state pen playing hide the nazi with a man with a nickname like Alabama Blacksnake. I know you can't fix stupid but you sure as shit can beat it into submission.


As for the attorney who says "there's nothing in the law against it", this is the reason that I can only wish that these overpaid douchebags get what they have coming to them. I didn't feel the least bit bad when the psycho fucktard William Striler shot attorney Jerry Curry 6 times outside a courthouse in revenge for losing a case for him. Why do we condone stupid?

Koalas Burned In Australian Bush Fires

CANBERRA (Reuters) – A love story between two badly burned koalas rescued from Australia's deadliest bushfires has provided some heart-warming relief after days of devastation and the loss of over 180 lives. The story of Sam and her new boyfriend Bob emerged after volunteer firefighter Dave Tree used a mobile phone to film the rescue of the bewildered female found cowering in a burned out forest at Mirboo North, 150 km (90 miles) southeast of Melbourne. Photos and a video of Tree, 44, approaching Sam while talking gently to her, and feeding her water from a plastic bottle as she put her burned claw in his cold, wet hand quickly hit video sharing website YouTube.

But it was after reaching a wildlife shelter that Sam met and befriended Bob, who was saved by wildlife workers on Friday, two days before Sam, in Boolarra, about 180 km from Melbourne. Tree, who has been a volunteer firefighter for 26 years, said it was extremely rare to get so close to a koala so he asked his colleague Brayden Groen, 20, to film him.

Sam was taken to the Southern Ash Wildlife Shelter in Rawson. Her story was reminiscent of a koala named Lucky who survived the 2003 bushfires that destroyed about 500 homes and killed four people in the capital of Canberra. Lucky became a symbol of hope. Colleen Wood from the Southern Ash Wildlife Shelter that is caring for Sam and Bob said both koalas were doing well while other animals like possums, kangaroos, and wallabies were also starting to emerge from the debris.

She said Sam had suffered second degree burns to her paws and would take seven to eight months to recover while Bob had three burned paws with third degree burns and should be well enough to return to the bush in about four months.
"They keep putting their arms around each other and giving each other hugs. They really have made friends and it is quite beautiful to see after all this. It's been horrific," said Wood. "Sam is probably aged between two to four going by her teeth and Bob is about four so they have a muchness with each other."
Wood said about 20 koalas had been brought into her shelter in recent days, several of whom had bonded as koalas are known to clump together, but none had garnered the same attention as the new Internet star Sam.


I must say this story and video truly made me sad. I must have a heart after all, despite what people say. Though I must admit if it was a person instead of a Koala bear, I would likely have not even stopped to read it let alone been moved. Oh well.

Afghan Military Hazing... Now That's A Bitch

Afghan children are being recruited as suicide bombers, drawn into the military and used for sex by armed groups, a senior official with the UN children's agency said on Sunday. But the conflict means that children in more than 60% of the country cannot not be reached by Unicef workers, the agency's deputy executive director Hilde F Johnson said on a visit to Kabul.

"It is clear that there are stories and allegations of recruitment on the different sides, but we don't have enough documentation to say how bad it is," Johnson said.
A Unicef task force was set up this year to document the problem and Johnson said it was pushing the Afghan government to better verify the ages of the men it was taking into the armed forces.

There have been reports that men under the internationally accepted age of 18 are being recruited. More than 400 under-age soldiers were demobilised in a government programme in 2003, two years after the fall of the Taliban regime, according to the United Nations. There were also cases of children being used as suicide bombers by insurgents, a trend seen in Iraq, but the numbers had not been established, Johnson said.

After the fall of the Taliban, "people were under the assumption that Afghanistan was venturing into the post-conflict phase and that some of the aspects that were hitting children hardest would go down", Johnson said. "But I think there is a reality check that has kicked in amongst all players that this is not that case and we need to be able to respond properly in terms of verifying the violation of children's rights in Afghanistan."

Afghanistan meanwhile was different from other post-conflict countries, in that more boys were being abducted for "sexual services" than girls, with cases across the board, including in the government forces. Children were also being killed in insurgent and military action, with more than 230 schools attacked in the year to June.

I'm sure they're wonderful people, they just like to violate little boy anus to relieve tension. We should be more culturally sensitive here in the United States of The Great Satan. Maybe little boys in Afghanistan like sore bums. Who are we to say that their way of life is wrong? That's what people tell me all the time.


Look, this Afghan child is hitting on our marines. Would you expect a man here to turn down the flirtatious glance of a hot, young college coed? No you wouldn't. The Afghan hot young coeds just happen to be 13 and male.

Full Article Here

Valentines Day Is Evil!


KHARTOUM (Reuters) – Senior Muslim clerics urged Sudanese youngsters to boycott Valentine's Day, saying it is a Western institution that could lead couples astray. Members of the Sudan Ulema Authority, an influential body of religious leaders, called on young men and women to ignore the event on February 14 and resist the temptation to mark it by taking romantic strolls in parks. "Valentine's Day comes from Western countries. I call on Muslims not to imitate Christians," said preacher Sheikh Hassan Hamid in a statement released to Reuters Wednesday.

"The money that is spent on Valentine's Day would be better spent encouraging young people to marry," he added. The lovers' holiday has become increasingly popular in recent years among students and young people in the capital, with Valentine cards available in Khartoum shops. North Sudan's conservative culture frowns on public displays of affection between men and women kissing and holding hands in the street are unheard of. But young couples can occasionally be seen sitting, a decent distance apart, in parks and some of the city's flashier fast food restaurants.

Sudan's north is almost entirely Muslim, and Islamic sharia law has been enforced there since the 1980s. However, Christians and followers of traditional African beliefs dominate the country's semi-autonomous south. Authority member Al-Muhalab Barakat said Sudan's young people should not waste their time wandering through city parks on Valentine's Day. "This is just part of Western culture that should not be followed in Sudan," he said in a statement seen by Reuters on Wednesday. "Youths who go to parks with young girls up to midnight can make mistakes."

The clerics are right... this would be simply unacceptable. Men and women being affectionate? Unbelievable! What kind of vile culture would condone holding hands and kissing? A truly cultured and civilized society would beat, stone, maim and disfigure it's women for being so frivolous with their very dignity. Don't these unruly children realize that they are stepping on the honor of their forefathers? You're supposed to punch your woman in her Burqa right where her eye would be for failing to cook a delicious enough dinner. Make her walk 10 feet behind you in her place like a good slave. We as Americans need to see the light. We need to realize that our evil pagan ways are destroying civilization!

Oh wait, my sarcasm got the best of me there for a minute. I actually believe it was quoted best in "Generation Kill". Something to the tune of this:

"Look at this shit, how come we can't ever invade a cool country, like chicks in bikinis, you know, how come counties like that don't ever need Marines, I'll tell you why, it's lack of pussy that fucks countries up, lack of pussy is the root fucking cause of all global instability, if more hajis were getting quality pussy, there'd be no reason for us to come over and fuck em up like this, cause a nutbusting haji, is a happy haji."

Yeah, yeah, you should quote me on it, you know what, you should definitely quote me on it, this whole thing comes down to pussy! Look, if you take the Republican Guard and comp their asses for a week in Vegas, no fucking war!

So the war is not about oil or WMDs.

No, in the opinion of this Marine, its about pussy.

And its not about Saddam.

No, Saddam is just part of the problem, if Saddam invested more in the pussy infrastructure of Iraq than he did in his fucking gay ass army, then this country would be no more fucked up than say, Mexico."

Makes perfect sense to me.

Full Article Here

Tuesday, February 17, 2009

Gas Prices On The Rise AGAIN!

Yeah I know... It's still cheaper here than most of Europe but in all honesty I don't care how much it is there because I'm not in Europe at the moment


NEW YORK – Crude oil prices have fallen to new lows for this year. So you'd think gas prices would sink right along with them.

You can read the full article here but I'm going to just simplify a bit.

On Thursday crude oil closed just under $34 a barrel, its lowest point for 2009. The national average price of a gallon of gas rose to $1.95 on the same day, its peak for the year. They say the price of gas is tied to oil, but it's which oil that is the question. It has more to do with an energy market turned upside-down that has left gas cut off from its usual economic moorings.

The benchmark for crude oil prices is West Texas Intermediate. That's the price, set at the New York Mercantile Exchange, that you see quoted on business channels and in the morning paper. Right now, West Texas crude is selling for much less than inferior grades of crude from other places around the world. The severe economic downturn has left U.S. storage facilities brimming with it, sending prices for the premium crude to five-year lows.

Now, it is the overseas crude that goes into most of the gas made in the United States. So prices at the pump will probably keep going up no matter what happens to the benchmark price of crude oil.

"We're going definitely over $2, and I bet we'll hit $2.50 before spring," said Tom Kloza, publisher and chief oil analyst at Oil Price Information Service. "This is going to be an unusual year." The recession in America has dramatically cut demand for crude oil, and inventories are piling up. So prices for West Texas crude have fallen well below what oil costs from places like the North Sea, Saudi Arabia and South America. That foreign oil sells in some cases for $10 more per barrel — and that doesn't even include shipping.

Brent North Sea crude, which feeds some East Coast refineries — and therefore winds up at many gas pumps around America — now costs about $7 more per barrel than the West Texas crude. Historically, West Texas International crude has cost more. So nobody bothered building the necessary pipelines to carry it beyond the nearby refineries in the Midwest, parts of Texas and a handful of other places. Now that the premium oil is suddenly very inexpensive, refiners elsewhere can't get their hands on it.

So why not build more pipelines? Because investing billions of dollars over several years makes no sense when the prices could just flip a year from now to where they were before. Refiners have seen the same headlines as everyone else about job losses and consumer spending. They've slashed production just to avoid taking losses on gasoline no one will buy. Result: Higher gas prices. "Why should a refiner produce more gasoline when the stuff we produce is not being used?"

"Drivers are being ripped off even more now than before," said Stuart Pollok, who was filling up recently at a Chevron station in downtown Los Angeles. He pointed out Exxon Mobil Corp. reeled in billions in profits last year when oil prices neared $150.

Makes perfect sense. The election is over and now they can begin fucking us again. We'll waste billions on a stimulus plan that will throw money away on a bunch of horseshit like feeding wasteful industry and handing out more money so support mothers who have no job and 14 children. Build a more pipelines to support our own need for the most valuable resource in America... No way, too expensive. Are we truly that stupid?

Our government never ceases to amaze me. I say we "waste" the money on the pipelines despite the fact that prices may flip back. After we've done that we take the Walmart approach to foreign (Saudi) oil and say "We'll give you $______ per barrel, if you don't like it then fuck off, we'll just stop buying any". We fix two problems with one solution. We become self sufficient and don't have to worry about it, and we stop feeding a true evil empire who in turn feeds terrorism (it's proven). Sadly, it appears that we aren't that smart. I stick with my previous stance that the Obamessiah can fuck himself.

Friday, February 13, 2009

My Own Ideas On Welfare Reform


There should be no welfare and no disability payments, at least not as we know them. Have I got your attention now? Good, keep reading. This is not a difficult issue but our useless government seems to think that it is. I'm so sick of hearing about one useless, freeloading, piece of human trash after another, leaching off society and living better than those who pay their own way in many cases. I constantly hear about welfare reform and this and that. They're always doing something to ensure that people don't cheat the system and it inevitably fails each and every time. This shit needs to fucking stop!

Plain and simple, this is how it should be. No welfare, no disability, no food stamps, no subsitance payments whatsoever without a job (except in the case of veterans... see #11) That is entirely possible, I promise you that it is and I will explain. Society cannot sustain this sort of government funded socialist horseshit and it's showing in the massive failures of almost every country that employs them. Sure, all of this can be attributed to certain things but any disaster is generally a combination of multiple factors. If you remove any one of the sides of the fire triangle you cannot have a fire. If you remove a multi-billion dollar drain on society, it's a hell of a lot less likely that you're going to be dragged down by it now isn't it?

The last year that I could find statistics on it, the United States Federal, State, and Local governments spent 1.01 trillion dollars on social welfare programs. Do you have any idea what one trillion looks like? $1,000,000,000,000 is an assload of money to give a way for fuckall now isn't it? I'm not going to break every last little detail down but it seems to me that we could get a lot done and do so very effectively by simply not allowing freeloading.

Welfare "reform" should look like this.

1. Everybody over the age of 16 who is not in school will have a job.

2. Everybody over the age of 18 who is in school and isn't supported by family or other parties (choosing by their own free will to support them) will have a job.
(I did it so they can too)

3. There will be no excuse for not working, no age, race, ethnicity, religion, or any other excuse will be sufficient and no special privileges or exceptions will be made for any of them.

4. If you cannot find a job, a job will be assigned to you based on your abilities. Depending on order and/or necessity, you may or may not be given a choice. There are countless jobs that need done. Sidewalks could be scrubbed spotless with soap and wire brushes, grass could be cut with scissors, trees chould be trimmed, parks could be landscaped, trash could be picked up, trees could be planted, houses of elderly could be painted, borders could be patrolled. The possibilities are endless.

If by some longshot, we do run out of jobs, you will arrive at a designated place at a designated time, and you will be seated there for 8 hours. You will be required to read a book of educational significance in a predetermined time-frame and then you will be tested on it until you manage to pass. If you do not know how to read you will be taught. You will spend 8 hours a day, 5 days a week, 49 weeks a year doing something assigned to you and therefore you will not be sitting around collecting dust and free money.

5. If you choose not to do your assigned job you will not receive any assistance at all unless citizens or family voluntarily choose to provide it. If you quit your job or get fired you will be assigned another one. If this occurs repeatedly 3 (or more) times, based on situation, you may not be offered additional jobs. Assuming this is the case and you cannot find a job on your own then you have lost my friend. If you have no job and family or friends choose not to assist you, you will starve to death in the street and we will not intervene. We will then use your ground-up carcass to feed zoo animals.

6. If you choose not to do your assigned job and instead commit crimes to obtain money or food, you will have 3 strikes. After the third time this occurs you will be taken behind the courthouse and have one bullet from a Desert Eagle .50 deposited in your cranium. If you injure somebody in the process you will be likewise injured, if you kill somebody you will be killed, no matter whether it be the 1st or the 3rd strike, without exception.

7. If you do find your own job, or accept the job you are given, you will receive money to live on accordingly. If you excel at your job you may be provide additional opportunities and associated pay.

8. There will be levels of "freedoms" based on levels of work accomplished

a) College degree or other post high school education (vocational, etc.) and found your own job? You can do what you choose (within normal boundaries)as in any free society.

b) High school diploma and a job of your own finding and choosing, you will be given the opportunity to gain further education and if you succeed you move up. If you fail you continue to go the path you're on. You may do as your monetary situation allows.

c) Everybody who cannot or chooses not to obtain their own job will receive one of state choice and you will receive the opportunity to obtain further education, should you choose not to or should you fail, you will be given 3 opportunities and the offer will be deleted. If you do not move up in status you will continue to work for the absolute bare minimum.

9. To those who fall into group C there will be no cash awarded. Not a single dollar in cash shall be given to these people. Everything will be a card like they have now but it will only allow pre-approved food and necessities, etc. Food will only be bare minimum, meat, bread, milk, cheese, cereal, and selected other pre-approved materials. Basic hygiene materials will be added to the allowance. All snacks and "junk food" such as soda, chips, cakes and such will be absolutely prohibited.

Restaurants, fast food or otherwise, will not accept these cards as payment. Nothing that is not pre-listed will be allowed to be purchased. No televisions, no cable tv, no cell phones, no high speed internet, no leisure or luxury items at all. Cigarettes are not allowed, alcohol is not allowed. Books and pre-approved educational materials will be acceptable. Home repairs, car repairs, additional needs, etc., must be reported to local agencies who will investigate (in a very timely manner... unlike government agencies now) and approve or disapprove.

Transportation will be provided in the form of bus, rail, or passenger vehicle as determined necessary and most effective and efficient to get said individual to and from the place of employment. If necessary, fuel cards allowing controlled amounts of petrol will be issued.

Individuals in this category will be required to receive birth control injections to continue receiving payments. Nobody in this category will be permitted to have children for any reason. If they somehow have children the children will be removed until the parent completes the process of moving into Group A or B. If the parent does not complete this process the child will be placed in the care of the state or adoptive parents. If these individuals do not move into group B status within 10 years they will be sterilized.

Group C must also have random drug tests (and pass) every week or lose benefits. A single failed drug test for a Group C individual will result in a requirement of double (16 hour) shifts for 1 month and all clean drug tests during that time. Three failures and this individual loses benefits (see #5 & #6 above).

As long as group C complies with all of their requirements, they will receive basic/standard health care, prescriptions, etc.

10. No person who is not a citizen shall receive any health care within the United States borders unless they are here legally (vacationers, education, legal work visas, etc.) Not even in life threatening circumstances will anybody illegally inside of our borders receive even a free bandaid unless a legal citizen chooses willingly to foot the bill. Any persons caught illegally inside the united states will be ejected and banned from entering, or applying for legal entry for 10 years. Anybody caught 3 times will be executed. Illegals immigrants should not be supported on taxpayer money.

11. The only people who would receive some additional leniencies would be vets. You've served your country and you will be compensated accordingly. Disabled in the service of your country then you will receive benefits that are more than reasonable. Assistance will allow for reasonable luxury items and additional cash for personal use as the individual sees fit.

There are a lot more details but I don't have time to elaborate at the moment. As far as welfare and free handouts, health care and such go, I'm pretty sure this would save us a whole lot of money. Enough money saved, that I'm confident that all who play by the rules would have more than a fair chance at success and at very least they would survive and receive basic medical care. One thing that is sure is that we cannot continue with all these goddamn freeloaders like the idiot in California with no job and 14 kids because we let them do whatever they feel like doing.

If you really have a problem with my plans then by all means, bitch away, and I'll happily explain what I left out, or why you're wrong.

Crooked Juvy Judges


"Two judges pleaded guilty on Thursday to accepting more than $2.6 million from a private youth detention centre in Pennsylvania in return for giving hundreds of youths and teenagers long sentences.

Judges Mark Ciavarella and Michael Conahan of the Court of Common Pleas in Luzerne County, Pennsylvania, entered plea agreements in federal court in Scranton admitting that they took payoffs from PA Childcare and a sister company, Western PA Childcare, between 2003 and 2006.

When someone is sent to a detention centre, the company running the facility receives money from the county government to defray the cost of incarceration. So as more children were sentenced to the detention centre, PA Childcare and Western PA Childcare received more money from the government, prosecutors said.

Teenagers who came before Ciavarella in juvenile court often were sentenced to detention centres for minor offences that would typically have been classified as misdemeanours, according to the Juvenile Law Centre, a Philadelphia nonprofit group.

One 17-year-old boy was sentenced to three months' detention for being in the company of another minor caught shoplifting.

Others were given similar sentences for "simple assault" resulting from a schoolyard scuffle that would normally draw a warning, a spokeswoman for the Juvenile Law Centre said.

The Constitution guarantees the right to legal representation in U.S. courts. But many of the juveniles appeared before Ciavarella without an attorney because they were told by the probation service that their minor offences didn't require one.

Approximately 5,000 juveniles came before Ciavarella from 2003 and 2006, between 1,000 and 2,000 received excessively harsh detention sentences. She said the centre will sue the judges, PA Childcare and Western PA Childcare for financial compensation for their victims.

I find it interesting that the Judges were fucking people for bribe money from the detention center. NOW, the detention center is going to sue for compensation for the victims they were paying the judges to fuck? Have I got that right? Now since this is a local government post, I'm sure the local government is going to be the one getting sued. This means that Pennsylvania taxpayers are likely to foot the bill for Judge Fuckstick's fuckups. We fund the center, we fund the Judge, the Judge gets more funding from the center, and the center sues the judge for funding. Yup, that makes perfect fucking sense.

"That judges would allow their greed to trump the rights of defendants is just obscene," Levick said.

The judges attempted to hide their income from the scheme by creating false records and routing payments through intermediaries, prosecutors said.

The Pennsylvania Supreme Court removed Ciavarella and Conahan from their duties after federal prosecutors filed charges on January 26. The court has also appointed a judge to review all the cases involved".

Money laundering is bad mmmm k. I propose the death sentence for these two judges. I'm pretty sure that they constantly attempt to "set examples" with the civilian population for doing shit wrong. I think an example needs to be made and that is, if you're in a position of power you will not fuck with other people's lives or we'll relieve you of yours. This sort of shit is unacceptable and happens far too often. Apparently simply losing their job isn't enough to deter them from being morons. You can't just throw a kid in juvy for several months for stealing a goddamn dvd. Juvy for fighting? Are you people kidding me?

Somebody who does this to somebody mentally on top of the potential other issues that could follow these kids, should pay dearly. I say this as an individual who hates kids! I despise the little bastards and want rid of all of them, but I like people who use their power to abuse and otherwise hurt others even more. This country is going to hell and it's not because of lax rules. Fucking nazis... "who can we screw and what does it pay?"

Actual Article Here

Death Threats For Dumbass

Octoasshole... I mean "octomom" as the media likes to call her for some reason (maybe because the media are usually retards) has been receiving death threats. No shit? I love this shit. I'm not sure I can actually recall a time in recent history where Americans have actually gotten loudly pissed off about some dumbass shit in the civilian sector. There are always complaints and what not about politicians and policies and such, but not very often about something such as this.

To be honest with you I don't understand it at all. How can people get angry with a 33 year old divorced woman who has spent of $100,000 dollars (of what is likely taxpayer money) on in vetro fertilization procedures (she says it's money she worked double shifts to earn it, I sincerely doubt that). I mean seriously... what kind of selfish bastards would we be to deny this woman (with no job, nothing else to do) her dream of having more puppies than a stray Labrador in Puerto Rico? Suleman has been supporting her six other children with $490 a month in food stamps and receives Social Security disability payments (it's not welfare she'll tell you) for three of the youngsters that could total $2,379 a month. These are small potatos she's living her dream, do you want to be the one to kill that?

The octardlets were all premature, I'm sure if you followed this story, you are aware. The article that I am talking about stated this fun fact. "The Suleman octuplets' medical costs have not been disclosed, but in 2006, the average cost for a premature baby's hospital stay in California was $164,273, according to the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services. Eight times that equals $1.3 million."

Suleman has apparently been receiving hundreds of emails, many of which are not saying nice things I am lead to believe from the article, but it doesn't really give details. Living in an undisclosed location (paid for by you and I no doubt), and protected by a security detail (also paid for by our taxes I'm sure), Captain Cum-dumpster is still getting to see her children daily.

The article does say that she has been receiving offers of clothing, food, and even financial help from other people in country. This is the kind of thing I just love to see. It simply warms my heart to know that the American people are still undeterred by rampant stupidity. Many Americans aren't turned off by flagrant violations of common sense and moral responsibility, no sir, they embrace it!

I applaud you America, YES WE CAN go without a reach-around while the despicable pieces of shit in society effectively fuck us in the ass by their own selfish stupidity. Hell, let's just have a free money give away. No no no, all you working people are excluded. We'll collect everybody who's already collecting thousands in taxpayer dollars, and we'll just give them a free run on the treasury. This will be a rollicking good time just to see the ungrateful joy that only the ignorant bliss that a low IQ, lack of ambition, and free give aways can induce.

The U.S. Department of Agriculture estimates that the cost (for a single mother) of raising 14 children should range between 1.3 and 2.7 million dollars. Now that's one hell of a handout! Bend over America for we are now entering the Age of Idiocracy (or it's entering us). To be completely honest, I don't feel even a little bit bad for this woman getting death threats. I actually sincerely hope that one of the crazy assholes who's sending them to her catches up with her. I wouldn't feel the least bit bad in fact, quite the contrary. At least then maybe the kids would be adopted by somebody with a little common sense and the mental stability to not destroy their lives like their idiot mother surely will.


Thursday, February 12, 2009

Joaquin Phoenix Walked Right Over The Line

This dude was never quite right but he's off nut in this video. I don't know what he hell this man ingested but there should be a public service announcement discouraging it's use. I'm not even sure if he knows where he his most of the time.

Oh Gracious God! It's Such A Blessing To See You Mr. President!!!!

What a nutter is this kid...

Working at McDonald's for he past 4 years. It's quite clear why you've been working at McDonald's for the past 4 years there chief. Seriously, lay off the crank, that shit is a dead end road! What the fuck is wrong with this kid? Oh, yeah, I know what's wrong with him. Julio must have gotten himself a second helping of the Kool-Aid. One more sip and I think his tiny brain is going to melt down like Chernobyl. When it does I don't want to be walking across that campus as he opens fire on passers-by. This kid doesn't need another job, he just might need benefits though so he can get some anti-hyperactivity drugs.

See the whole article here.

Wednesday, February 11, 2009

God Hates Wankers

Have you ever been sitting at home, walking through the grocery store, or picking up your fatherless bastard children from school and had the overwhelming urge to fondle your pile of happiness? Everywhere you go you just want to play with your cash and prizes?


Walking the dog in the park and just can't overcome the urge to duck behind a medium sized shrubbery and have a wank right quick? Have you been arrested for spinning your record in the toy section at Walmart? Well now you are not alone. Salvation is nigh my young magic lamp polishers.

The Passion For Christ Movement P4CM.com is here to help you. They want to tell you that you aren't alone. You need to repent your evil ways immediately or when you die you can be sure that God is going to fuck you up. God hates wankers! You can bet your best bottle of lube on that!


The kids over at Passion 4 Christ are here to tell you that you too can renounce your evil sinning ways just like they have. Are you convinced yet? Go on over the the website and get you your very own "EX-Masturbator" t shirts.


Check out these testimonials if you don't believe me!

Ressa Says: " These shirts are AMAZING!!!!!!! By wearing these shirts we are able to show that God can and will deliver you!!!

2 Timothy 4:18

And the Lord shall deliver me from every evil work, and will preserve me unto his heavenly kingdom; to whom be glory for ever and ever; Amen."

What about SouljaCj: "WOW !!!! To Glory be to God forever the ex-masturbatur t-shirt is blazin hott got to purchase me one i'm a witness that freely by grace through faith proceeding with true repentance JESUS is a habit breaker. I struggled wth masturbation and was bound by my own self ambiton at times when I wanted to worship God my sprit was willing , but my flesh was weak so when I realized I had a problem and ask God to examine my heart he uveiled my mask and wicked heart Christ broke me down and renewed my mind I have'nt been the same since. I Peter 1:25 ALL FLESH IS AS GRASS AND THE GLORY OF MAN IS AS THE GLORY OF THE FIELD , BUT THE WORD OF THE LORD STANDS FOREVER. FaM truthfully it's a whole lot of people saved , but not delivered from things and you all are a blessing keep going hard for the kingdom. Peace & 1 luv"

And Dancer4Him24 says: "OH WOW, when I first saw ll the other t-shirts I thought about masturbation and I was thinking well I'll just get a ex- fornicator shirt but ya'll hit the nail and the head and got the shirt I need, I'm just greatful that the word is getting out, GOD's word is getting out. Peace & Blessings to the movement!!!!!!!!!!"

I bet you're wondering what they're talking about aren't you? You too can have your very own "EX" t shirt. Check out all the awesome "EX" gear, including such hits as: EX-Diva, EX-Fornicator, EX-Maturbator, EX-Hypocrite, EX-Slave, and EX-Athiest t shirts. No Christketeer wardrobe would be complete without a different "EX" t shirt for every day of the week. This shit will be da bomb in church, youth groups, and any conservative social function near you. Your priest will be so happy he'll want to touch your bum! You'll just tell him "damn nigga I ain't do that shiznit no mo," then you'll both laugh and be closer to God.

These muthafuckas iz str8 Jesus approved fo rizzy!


Now go on wit yo bad self and check out the the video over at the p4cm.com website.

Now that you've seen the video and read the testimonials, you too can repent you evil sinners. All you need is your very own "EX-Maturbator" t shirt! You need to wear your former bad habits on your chest for the world to see! The laughs and stares from the public will tell you that you are going to heaven and they are going to hell. You'll be able to walk proud while you tell the world that that you're saving your seed for your future wife and not wasting it on an old gym sock.


God will be happy, you'll be happy, and you won't turn out like emo boy.


He touches himself because he hates himself and then he cuts. Emo boy refuses to be saved by God and shout a Halle-LU-Jahs! I could use a damn good laugh too so be sure to send me your photos of you in your new shirt. Now, I'm going to go rub one out and God can bugger off!

Australian Wildfire Photos

Here is a website I came across with some good photographs of the destruction caused by the Australian wildfires.


Hell... Founded In 1682 By William Penn

I really don't like this state. I've been from East to West and North to South and I haven't found more than a small handful of reasons to like Pennsylvania. I like autumn in Pennsylvania in all it's beauty, with the leaves changing and what not. I also like the fact that life isn't a clusterfuck where I happen to live, there just aren't "too many" people, but that's about all. I've been a lot of places in the United States, more than I can count on both hands and feet. Truth be told I only have good things to say about a few that can be counted on one hand. Despite all this I find myself driving back into Pennsylvania from Virginia almost every weekend and wishing that I could just stay and not return to this frozen pile of Quaker poo.

I left Virginia this weekend and as usual was none to happy about doing it. That's not new that I'm not happy about doing something but in this case it's more understandable than usual. The only time I'm actually happy is when I'm there (it's not the state itself, just what's in it, though I do like the state). Point being, I am happy sometimes, just not during the week when I'm in Pennsylvania and I have to work. Today was no exception to the norm. I woke up at 5:30 am as usual. I hit the "snooze" button twice and then rolled begrudgingly out of my warm and comfortable bed. Christ on a stick do I hate getting out of my bed in the morning. There is almost nothing that can make the morning a positive experience, almost nothing.

Skipping mundane details and moving ahead. I grab my lunch box, which actually contains no lunch. Inside my "lunch box" is some ice, three reused gatorade bottles filled with skim milk, an amp energy drink, and a premixed protein shake. Yeah, you know you wish you had that protein shake right now! I have to bring drinks because my office doesn't have a soda machine, or a candy machine, or even one within walking distance. It's bullocks I tell you! What the fuck sort of office doesn't have a soda machine? Truth be told, I would probably not buy anything out of the machine anyhow because I try not to drink soda (or eat candy for that matter), but I like to know it's there if I want it.

So, out the door I go and I realize immediately that something is not right. It's really warm out, unseasonably warm. There's still ice on the ground, and snow, despite the warmth, which is melting the ice and snow. The ice and snow seem to have nowhere to go though because humidity is like 100%. This is ridiculous, I can't see more than 10 feet in front of me. Yes it's dark, I know, you remembered it's not even 6 am, good job, but that isn't it. No, the problem is the fog. A thick, can't see 10 feet in front of you, creepy fucking blanket of fog. Fog, like the film... but not the lame 2005 remake, no, I mean the original, scary, 1980 John Carpenter version of the film. I'm half expecting to be skewered through the liver by some sort of 16th century, part supernatural corpse-like creature wielding a cutlass.



I don't like getting stabbed by angry corpses so I really don't care for fog. Yes, I know, I know better but it's still fun to have an imagination.

Fun Fact: I had a dream that went with a very similar plot to this movie before I had ever seen or heard of the film. There was fog, and dead fuckers with glowing eyes, and when they fog rolled in they tried to kill my ass. It didn't have anything to do with water or fishermen like the town in the film but it was scary as shit. My dead things were Amish and emerged from forest instead of sea but still fucking frightening. (one of these days I'll put that dream on this blog).

Now, I'm in my car, I'm safe from the fog, but I can't see a goddamn thing. I had to drive an hour to work and for 35 our out of 40 miles I could not see farther than 15 feet in front of my car. I can't very well drive 10 mph and get to work anytime today, so I just stuck with near the speed limit as I recalled in my head where the road turned so that I would not end up in the trees. Lets just say that this translates to a very stressful drive. Fortunately there were very few people on the roads to get in my way because if there had been disaster would have ensued.

At one point I did nearly flatten some sort of country dwelling hobo. I think it should be not only legal, but one should get a medal for hitting with a car, any individual stupid enough to walk ON the road, wearing black, while it's dark outside. Dude was walking inside of the white line on the side of the road, facing away from traffic, in the fucking fog. You can't tell me he wasn't deserving of a new profession as a hood ornament or road pizza! This guy was probably Amish too and if he was that would explain everything. These people are so goddamn dumb when it comes to some common sense shit that I wonder why they don't chase cars and try to bite the tires. I guess I should expect such things from a people who's family tree looks like this.


Not only do these idiots walk on the side of the road and cause a hazard, they also drive their medieval carts in the road as well. Let me tell you what doesn't belong on public roadways. Wait for it... Wait for it... Did you guess yet? AMISH PEOPLE DON'T BELONG ON PUBLIC FUCKING ROADWAYS! Tell me, what is more dangerous than a car sized, black, wooden box on giant wooden wheels, containing twelve inbred puritans, being towed by a single aged horse at 5 mph on a two lane back country road frequented by log trucks, all while it's dark outside! I implore you to tell me what is a worse idea than that!?

Amish don't pay taxes to drive on those roads so FUCK THEM! If you want to drive on the goddamn road get a car or a horse that goes the speed limit like everybody else and pay some fucking taxes like the rest of us. If you don't want to do that then build your own goddamn roads you obsolete assholes!

So enough about the Amish, I didn't happen to kill any, and none got me killed this day but there shall be more. This battle has only just begun Amishes!

I got into town and stopped at the "Country Fair" because it's the only place to get breakfast that's close to work. It starts as soon as I try to drive into the parking lot. There are maybe 10 parking spaces in front of the place and there are 6 pickup trucks taking up all of them because they are parked all cockeyed, sideways, and every direction south of retarded. I fucking hate you people with your trucks. Stupid fucking hillbillies, I hope you die. It's not simply the trucks that piss me off, that's a lot of it, but it's the fact that they have 12,675 hunting related stickers on the back window and the driver is usually wearing an ensemble worth about $6.00.

I want to know something. If you have a haircut that your wife did for you because you can't afford one. If you buy your clothes at Walmart because you're too poor to afford anything else. If you buy your food with food stamps. If you have holes in your work boots. How the fuck do you justify owning a $30,000 Ford Turbo Diesel pickup truck? HOW motherfucker HOW!? You can't! How about that carton of cigarettes that you're in here buying? You can't justify that either you fucking asshole! I don't care if they are Pall Mall Lights. Yes I know that Pall Mall Lights are made out of part tobacco, part ground up dandilion, and part dog shit. That doesn't matter, you don't need them because your broke ass can't afford them. I hate you people!

There are 6 people standing outside, loitering like it's their job. These old fuckers do this every morning. They just stand there, drink their shitty coffee, smoke their shitty cigarettes, and stare at me in a slack jawed manner that leads me to believe that they were unaware a human existed to whom they were not directly related. Two of the people outside are always employees. At any given time of the day you can go to Country Fair and you will encounter 3 employees. Two of the three employees will be outside smoking... ALWAYS. It really doesn't matter if there were 14,000 people in line at the checkout, the employees outside smoking would see this, and light another one. I hope they light themselves on fire.

One of the women working there today happily carried on a conversation with a fat lady in line in front of me today for 5 full minutes while I waited. She wasn't even checking out the fat lady, the fat lady was done, all she had to do was pick up her shit and walk the fuck away but it was catch up on the past week time apparently. So the cashier who has long, greasy, black hair, thick, coke-bottle-like glasses, the general appearance of a meth addict, and summer teeth (some r here, some r there (for those of you who haven't heard that)) chattered away about her ex boyfriend. Apparently she had him arrested for something, 3 times, didn't press charges, but got a restraining order, which he violated. Now she's "done with him" she hopes. Christ to I hope he did not impregnate that creature or we're all fucked.

Finally I got my shit and I'm off to work. I can't begin a single day without this sort of aggravation it would seem.