Tuesday, March 31, 2009

Random Stupidity In The News

I love the news for various reasons, one of them would definitely be the fact that the news sometimes acts as my Captain Obvious. Here are a couple examples.

1. Depression affects more than 6 million people aged 65 or older in the United States but only 10 percent of them are treated.

Nevermind how many are treated, I'm sure the number of depressed old people treated by percentage probably isn't much different than the percentage of non-old people treated. What interests me is this. THEY'RE OLD! What the hell reason do old people have not to be depressed?

If you're not shitting your pants already it might be mere days, or even minutes away.

When you aren't accidentally shitting yourself, you're trying desperately to shit but to no avail.

You're probably on a shit-ton of medications just to regulate yourself.

It takes you 10 times the amount of time to do 1/4 of the shit you used to be able to do.

Everything hurts all of the time, arthritis, gout, hemorrhoids, etc.

Half your friends are already dead and the other half could go at any time.

Any day now your heart just might explode and you end up as worm food.

Your kids have all moved away and left you in a home with a bunch of other senile old fools who smell of moth balls and loaded diapers.

A strong wind can break your hip and immobilize you for months.

Your walk has becomes a shuffle, your shuffle becomes an ooze, which leads to a chair, which leads to immobilized in a bed.

You can't get anywhere if you don't drive because nobody wants to deal with your stories and if you do drive, you're a hazard on the road.

You look like a corpse of your former self (which you still remember fondly as you count wrinkles and sags by the thousands).

I could go on for weeks. If old people aren't depressed, they're probably demented so I think we should chalk that one up to part of the process of getting old.

2. My next obvious new story is this bomb. You'll never believe this one!

Adult men with learning disabilities may engage in unsafe sex even though they understand the associated risks, survey findings suggest.

Ten of the men, ages 29 to 65 years old, lived in community settings, while the remaining 7 men, aged 19 to 49 years old, lived in secure hospitals. Overall, the men reported having 0 to 40 sexual partners. None were married, but 14 had been involved in lengthy relationships, and 2 were currently living with their partner.

Generally, the men gave accurate answers regarding the types and benefits of contraception, but many seemed unsure about where to obtain contraception. Most of the men also gave accurate definitions of sexually transmitted infections and HIV/AIDS, but some thought HIV transmissible through use of a toilet or a bath. A number of participants in this study described being coerced into sex, Yacoub and colleagues note.

These findings highlight the importance of learning more about the sexual lives of people with learning disabilities, "as they are a group of the population who may be vulnerable to exploitation and coercion," Yacoub told Reuters Health. Education alone may not be sufficient to prevent unsafe sexual practices among people with learning disabilities. Yacoub and colleagues suggest that developing a good rapport with learning-disabled people may help empower them to use safe-sex practices.

Really? Are you fucking serious? Did we really need a study to tell us that retarded people are likely to do retarded things?

(I know, I'm an insensitive jerk, I know, but that's beside the point)

Let's see... They're easily coerced, they don't fully understand things normal people would, They don't know where to obtain simple things like a condom, and this is somehow tied to being mentally disabled?

I don't buy it, I just don't see the correlation. We should probably just try harder to learn the learning disabled and attempt to "empower" them. This approach will surely work if we have the best of intentions.

3. This might be my favorite one because it's just more proof of how fucked up kids are these days. Teenage boys with erectile dysfunction?

In a study (the first of it's kind) 40 males ranging in age from 14 to 19 who came to one of three different specialized ED treatment centers for help. On average, the young men had been having problems for nearly two years. Most were accompanied by one or both parents.

Half of the teens reported having a decreased or absent sex drive, 30 had difficulty achieving spontaneous erection during sexual encounters, and 35 had trouble maintaining erections.

Twenty-five had ultrasound to check penile blood flow, which identified blood vessel problems in 12. The remaining 13 were considered to have psychological causes of erectile dysfunction.

Because what do we want to promote more than dumbass kids fucking like rabbits? Let's tally up the overall score... They're fat and gelatinous, disrespectful and stupid, interested in no physical activity, and they're overly violent (school shootings didn't happen when I was a kid). Should it really surprise us that they also can't get a boner? On the bright side, at least if they can't get it up they can't impregnate their 13 year old girlfriend and create another generation of self centered douchebags who are even more dysfunctional. This is not what we call a problem, this is evolution still attempting against all odds to do it's thing.

1 comment:

stevedouglas said...

Pele v Maradona and the importance of impotence
Pele suggests previous and well documented long term drug abuse may hinder Maradona as a national coach. Maradona replies by calling Pele gay.

Pele, apart from being the greatest footballer in history is also globally respected for his support of Impotence Awareness. It must have taken a brave man to agree to make those adverts talking about impotence and it’s effects. I am sure thousands of sufferers felt better about themselves and more importantly many of them would have sought help with their condition as a direct result of those adverts.

It a shame Maradona does not do the same and instead of discussing DRUGS and promoting Homophobia he could talk about the new herbal cures available today for erectile dysfunction sufferers.

There are many claims made in this area of research, but my own experience is that until any natural herbal remedy has been properly tested in clinical trails you should stay well clear of it.

Most recently there is chatter about a group of German researchers working on a plant extract that cures erectile dysfunction which may be available next year!
There is only one clinically tested plant extract to-date which is clinically tested and successful for over 80% of all men who take it, that is Butea Superba. Readily available in pill form under the brand name HealthyED, details of the trials can be found at HealthyED.co.uk Compared to other tests which indicate Viagra now working for only around 50% of users, HealthyEd with an 84% success rate looks like an attractive alternative to taking prescription drugs. Come on Maradona get on your soap box and tell the world about this fantastic clinical breakthrough. I don’t think we should hold our breath.

The main ingredient in HealthyED pills is the plant extract Butea Superba. The plant is widely available throughout Thailand where men wishing to increase their flagging libido can buy the ground down plant in powder form at the market place. They more often than not use it to cook with or simply add it directly onto their food like a dressing. The Thai government realising the potential took control of the growing of Butea and now it can only be grown under government license. Exports are strictly monitored and it would appear HealthyED are the only company in the West of the globe selling the ground down plant extract in pill form.

I have read the information supplied on the HealthyEd site and the evidence in favour of Butea over prescription drugs supplied by your local GP is compelling. With such high success rates who could question them.