Tuesday, September 15, 2009

When You Refuse To Punish Criminals You Must Punish Everybody Instead

The first “anti-stab” knife is to go on sale in Britain, designed to work as normal in the kitchen but to be ineffective as a weapon.


The knife has a rounded edge instead of a point and will snag on clothing and skin to make it more difficult to stab someone.

Fucking OUCH! Seriously, look at the tip of that thing. Point or no point, you cannot make a knife that isn't going to hurt like a bitch and do some serious damage.

It was invented by industrial designer John Cornock, who was inspired by a documentary in which doctors advocated banning traditional knives.

Mr Cornock said that the knife will cut vegetables, but will make it ALMOST impossible to stab someone to death.

The knife is expected to receive favorable results by the Home Office’s Design and Technology Alliance which set up to research products that can deter crime.

You know what works better than taking all pointy objects from all citizens? Getting the fuck rid of criminals who commit violent crimes! Punishing them accordingly (i.e. execution for murder, attempted murder, etc.) Society is better off without some people.

Really United Kingdom? Banning knives? Now I have heard the whisperings. We're the gun toting nutters who won't give up our firearms. Oh yes, I've heard it more than once and it's often coming from your section. It's true that there are shootings here by violent asshats who get a hold of guns. You are proof that the same categorical crimes don't stop without said guns, people will just turn to skewering one another with randomly selected kitchen utensils instead.

If you still want to condemn us for our want of keeping our freedom to have weapons, I won't hold that against anybody. Just don't expect an apology when I laugh at you because they take away your ability to cut your fucking food. Oh, it'll be next, it still has a sharp blade which they'll soon realize can be used for slashing (see "Islamic Beheadings").

P.S. There will still be sharp pointy knives out there somewhere (i.e. in the hands of the criminals), they just won't be in your own kitchens for use as your own protection. If you take the knives they'll just beat you to a bloody pulp using sticks or rocks instead. It isn't the weapon it's the piece of shit wielding the weapon.


Anonymous said...

I'm volunteering to have all my corkscrews dulled for the safety of the world.

Dillinger said...

Don't do it! A world without wine is a world without happiness. Halloween 63 is going to be a terrible movie without sharp kitchen knives. One death scene is going to be drawn out for a half hour.