Monday, October 26, 2009

Sometimes Things Irritate Me

Alright, I admit, something is always irritating me. Fact of the matter is, it's usually justifiable. Here are some of the things that annoyed me today.

Jon Gosselin stole $230,000 from a joint account he shares with estranged wife Kate as they fight like two bratty children over their stupid television show and divorce. She allegedly stole $33,000 in joint funds that she cannot explain where it went.

Why do you people watch this show? Who the fuck cares if these people have 8 kids and a shitty marriage. It's just stupid to watch this! I watched it once to see what the point was. He is an overgrown child with the douche levels of a drunken frat boy and she is an overbearing, condescending, bitch with a bad hairstyle that went out circa 1999. They accidentally took too much fertility juice, popped out 8 ugly ass kids, and you people eat that shit up like a pint of Ben and Jerry's while they rake in ridiculous amounts of money to be the dysfunctional assholes they should instead receive one terrible kick in the spleen apiece and a whack on the cranium with a bb filled rubber hose. Stop promoting stupidity America! These two big babies should have their children taken away from them and they should have to earn them back by acting like adults who can properly manage children.


Bruneians want husbands who cheat on their wives to be whipped, according to a recent survey in the Muslim-majority country.

Well fuck me with a snow shovel, the Muslims want to whip, beat, kick, stone, or maliciously hack off a part of something, go the fuck and figure. What is the difference between a Muslim and a practitioner of S & M? I don't know, I was asking you... a leather suit maybe? I think that's the only thing to tell you the truth, just a leather suit. That religion is fucked up, so fucked up that it should be placed back in a country that can be fenced the hell in, and allowed to fester in the dark ages. Fuck it, we'll put a yarmulke on one of these


then let them spastically hurl rocks at it's head while they froth and foam at the mouth and scream about "Allah Hu Akbar!" Screw it, lets turn it into a reality show. Somebody get John and Kate a pair of plane tickets and a Jewish last name!


A small town police department seized a motorized lounge chair in a drunk driving "incident" up and is going to auction it off next week.

The black and blue chair can go 15 miles per hour and has stereo, footrest, cupholders, headlights, a nitrous oxide power boost system, drag racing-style steering wheel and a parachute.

"Dennis LeRoy Anderson, 62, """smashed""" it into a parked car on his way back from a local bar in Proctor, Minnesota.

Anderson told police the only reason he hit the car was because a girl jumped up on the chair.

Somehow I'm doubting there was much "smashing" going on. More like "poofed" it into a parked car. Seriously people, how the fuck hard can an lazybody on wheels strike a car? This shit is going a little too far. Ridiculous though the chair is, at least he wasn't behind the wheel of a goddamn pickup truck. How much damage can really potentially be done in a recliner? I'd have let the poor bastard at least keep his chair. This is not drunk driving, it's drunk reclining, that's like getting a DUI walking home. I know the police have better things they could be doing. He should pay for any damage done and do some community service but not a DUI.


Speaking of cops who should have something better to do.

Police in Tenaha, Texas have been allegedly extorting traveling motorists by subjecting them to bogus traffic stops, perhaps finding small amounts of drugs, and then offering to forgo prosecution if the motorists would forfeit their cars and other property. The forfeited items were then sold to fund a special police recreation account.

Now way, I don't believe that for a second. No way would a police officer ever abuse his/her position of power in such a way. They screen officers very, very carefully to ensure that they only get the very smartest and most ethically sound individuals each and every time. Wait, what, they only check to make sure they aren't multiple felons and that they're good at gym class? Wait, what, sometimes they don't even do that? Oh!


This is why I hate New Jersey... well... this is just one more addition to the list.

Judge James Morley dismissed animal cruelty charges in September against former Moorestown, N.J., police officer Robert Melia Jr., who had been caught in 2006 attempting to sexually gratify himself using calves' mouths. Because the state has no anti-bestiality statute, Melia was charged with animal "cruelty," but Judge Morley said he was uncertain whether the acts were "cruel" or merely confusing. He reasoned that calves would normally recognize an appendage in their mouths as the prelude to food. If the calf could speak, said Judge Morley, it might merely say, "Where's the milk? I'm not getting any milk."

And thus, society took another giant step toward total annihilation. If you read the link, it appears that this fine, upstanding officer and his morbidly obese girlfriend (not a cow... at least not literally a cow) also like to molest little girls. This sort of thing happens far too often. Not the molesting and cow raping, that's a given that it needs to stop. What I'm talking about is these fucked up hillbillies getting jobs as cops. It's sort of like a "he who smelt it dealt it" thing. Those who preach most vehemently against things all too often turn out to be attempting to hide their participation. I propose a rule.

My rule is this. If you are given the very important position of police officer, judge, district attorney, or something along those lines. You are charged with upholding the law. This also means you know the law even better than the average person. All serious criminal charges that would apply to average citizens should be doubled or even tripled for these people. If you hold the fate of others in your hands, if you have power over the lives of others and you knowingly and willingly violate those very rules that you have actively helped to punish others for, you should pay dearly. When you take these positions you must be held to a higher standard and higher standards that come with higher rewards for meeting them should have stricter punishments for breaking them. I'm just saying.

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