Wednesday, October 28, 2009

Today In Stupid... Simply Idiotic


A defense bill President Barack Obama will sign into law today contains a new provision that would convert all Americans to Islam if Taliban fighters will quit the insurgency. Ok, so maybe that's slightly off. What Obama actually wants to do is pay the Taliban to stop being Taliban. The provision establishes a program in Afghanistan similar to when used in Iraq, where former fighters were re-integrated into Iraqi society. It worked very well there too, just like it works when we try to re-release inmates in the United States onto the streets.

This is an excellent plan for several reasons. None of these people are a lost cause. None of these people will lie, spy, and subvert the organizations we'll try to put them to work for. Even if they did this wouldn't hurt progress. All people are good, they just need a chance. The fact of the matter is, it's poverty that makes them this way so if we make them rich, problem fixed!

They Look Like Reasonable Guys To Me...

Also, Fanatical religious types are well known for being reasonable people, therefore, why would they not accept? Islam is not known for, and it's certainly not actually written in Islamic texts that it would be acceptable and even commendable for the Taliban to accept the money then continue the insurgency at our own expense, literally. It would appear that as usual, our messiah has brilliantly subverted the wiley enemy. Why didn't anybody think of this before? Money is free! If we run out, it's not like we can't just print more! Name your price Mr. Muhammad Bin Al Rammud Al Ben Booti Al Rakmon Tin Taliban. Can you spell that for me? It won't all fit on the check... how do I abbreviate? Genius! My only question is this: We already spend billions a year buying Oil from Saudi Arabia, so... wouldn't we be basically already paying the Taliban?


On another note, there are 3 hikers still imprisoned in Iran after 88 days. I know because there's a ridiculous counter on the website that tells me so. Shane Bauer, Sarah Shourd and Josh Fattal were detained under charges of illegally crossing the border from Iraqi Kurdistan into Iran.

In the latest effort to obtain their release, the hikers' families have released video of the three -- shot two days before they were detained fooling around like the fucking retards they are.

The video was filmed by Shon Meckfessel, a friend who accompanied them on their Kurdistan trip. Meckfessel had meant to join them on their fateful outing but stayed behind because he felt under the weather.

"Yo it's hot. Yo, it's hot. It's 'cause I'm in Iraq. Someone get me a fan. Someone get me a fan. 'Cause I'm in Kurdistan," Fattal raps as he chuckles and points to the Iraqi landscape behind him.

Which is absolutely hilarious when one thinks about the fact that Iraq is a fucking war zone. War zones always make me want to hike, rap, and act like a careless twat as well. Get me a fan... man... cause I'm in a prison van... on my way to solitary confinement in a cave in Iran.

"It's bittersweet," said Cindy Hickey, Bauer's mother. "Watching them, I see the lightness of heart that they had making [the videos]. It's fun to see them, but watching it, I wonder what they are still doing there. These are innocent kids."

Actually they were plenty old enough to know they shouldn't have been fucking the fuck around in Iraq in the first place. They should have also REALLY known better than to fuck around with Iran, Mahmoud Ahmadinejad and the rest of that Merry Band of Radical Nutbags.

Hickey has said that the families still have not been able to contact Bauer, Shourd or Fattal. Through the release of the videos, Hickey says that they hope "it will indicate how harmless these kids are."

Because the Iranians certainly don't realize that these fucktards are simply that, just fucktards. The Iranians surely were mistakenly thinking that these three idiots are CIA superspies, or perhaps they are 007, 008, and 00DUMBASS. I'm sorry, but Iran needed pawns (regardless of how weak they were) in an international game of chicken and dumb, dumber, and dumbass volunteered.

Mahmoud Says "How Do I Know They Aren't Spies?"


Past is the past... not so damn fast! An 88-year-old former member of the Waffen SS went on trial Wednesday on three counts of murder for the wartime killings of three civilians in the Netherlands.

Heinrich Boere admitted to the three killings to Dutch authorities when he was in captivity after the war but has managed to avoid prosecution for decades first escaping from the Netherlands before he could be brought to trial, then successfully eluding the courts in Germany.

Outside the court building, a handful of protesters held up a pair of black banners that read "No peace for Nazi criminals" and "Don't forgive, Don't forget." These are very likely the same Liberal types who can condemn this man and at the same time praise Palestinians, Al Qaida, Hamas, Hezbolah, or Taliban for blowing up civilians and carrying out even more heinous crimes against humanity.

Boere faces the possibility of spending the rest of his life in prison if convicted of the 1944 killings of a bicycle-shop owner, a pharmacist and another civilian while part of an SS death squad codenamed "Silbertanne."

Boere was 18 when he joined the SS at the end of 1940, only months after German forces had overrun his hometown of Maastricht and the rest of the Netherlands. In a 2007 interview with the Dutch newspaper Algemeen Dagblad, Boere himself attempted to justify the killings, saying he was sorry for what he had done but that it was "another time, with different rules."

NO WAY! I WANT HIS BLOOD! Standards it the world today are so ass backwards it's retarded. Yes, what the Nazis did was horrific. There is nothing excusable about the ethnic cleansing that took place, at least not as the big picture goes. As for the majority of the players in the game, that's a different story. Of course, in the higher echelons of power there were evil people who needed punished. In this particular case, I think the blood lust is going way too far. It seems to me, far more likely that this was a very young man in a rather low position on the totem pole and he was following orders.

If put in his time with the zeitgeist of the times, in his position, facing the consequences that he faced if he did anything but carry out his orders... you would do the same goddamn thing. It's possible that he's not sorry and that he believed in that cause, but I doubt it, and if he doesn't admit it, given the circumstances, it can't be proved. This is taking it too far and those who want to imprison this man are probably ignorant of reality and history, which cases them to be worse people than he likely is.


Defense attorneys for an al-Qaida sleeper agent plan to argue at his sentencing this week that his five years spent locked up without charge was enough punishment and he should be immediately released. As an attorney myself(license may not be real but that's a minor detail) , I would like to add to this and say that he should be paid for his mental anguish, given citizenship, and possibly given a mosque where he can help spread his "ethnically diverse" outlook on life.

Ali al-Marri, a 44-year-old native of Qatar, pleaded guilty in May to conspiring to provide material support or resources to a terrorist organization. Prosecutors have recommended the maximum 15 years behind bars, and the judge's decision could have far-reaching effects. The United States still holds more than 200 people without charge at Guantanamo Bay. If convicted, those detainees also could argue that their time in custody should be considered at sentencing.

Al-Marri's attorneys say the judge who will preside over Wednesday and Thursday's sentencing hearing should consider the years al-Marri spent locked up without charge, much of it in a U.S. Navy brig in South Carolina. Those years and cruel treatment — including sensory deprivation, lengthy interrogations and threats to harm his family — amount to a sentence "beyond what our nation stands for and tolerates as a matter of respect for the law," they said in court documents.

I would like to argue that Al-Marri's attorneys should be locked up in a cell with Al-Marri for taking money for a terrorist in an attempt to free him into society and further endanger society. Terrorist suspects should get no rights. I would pay a lot of money to be put in charge of these terrorists for a while. I would make waterboarding look like a toddler tea party. This is why we get nowhere in this war. They don't fear us. Their daily lives are worse than what they get in U.S. detention. They fear Taliban far more and that's why Taliban is winning. Until the U.S. proves that punishment will be far more harsh for crossing us that it will be for crossing the Taliban, we will continue to get nowhere.

"We're arguing that, that warrants a lower sentence," attorney Lawrence Lustberg said in an interview Monday. "The best possible outcome would be that the court would conclude that no additional term is necessary."

Asshats! Does anybody besides me realize that a mere 50 or so years ago, in nearly any country, this would be a hanging offense? In the countries these people come from it would be a death sentence. In our country you get a slap on the wrist and a welfare check. If you bring a knife to a gunfight you will always lose.

When interviewed, an Al-Quaida spokesman said "Allah is most merciful and Muhammad is his prophet, peace be upon him and beat your wife if she defies you and behead enemies of Islam... dirka dirka."


Susan Finkelstein is willing to rub the lamp if the genie comes with World Series tickets.

The 43-year-old Philadelphia woman posted an ad on the Web site Craigslist in which she described herself as a "gorgeous, tall, buxom blonde diehard Phillies fan" desperately seeking Series tickets. Police too her choice of words "I'm the creative type! Maybe we can help each other!" to mean that she was willing to spread the sexy time for some tickets. This doesn't surprise me at all. Maybe she was offering sex, maybe she wasn't, not enough information. Yeah, yeah, assumptions are the mother of all fuck-ups! What does that make these cops? Oh, yeah, it makes them cops, who as often as not will prosecute somebody just for the money they'll make from fines.

An undercover officer responded to the digital ad, and Finkelstein allegedly offered to perform various sex acts in exchange for the coveted tickets. She didn't get the tickets because the officer turned out to be gay. Actually I made that part up. She got arrested instead, for solicitation of prostitution.

I have a very simple question. Why do you care America? Why the fuck do you care? Why, oh god... why? Honestly, what does it matter if two consenting adults want to shag in exchange for Phillies tickets, cash, check, money order, a leaf blower, a red left shoe, a sack of rusty tin cans, what the fuck does it matter? What is the difference between humping for the gratification of relieving the pressure or humping for the sake mutual benefit. How is that any more immoral or reprehensible than going to a party to get drunk with intent to score? Granted, you would have to be slightly irresponsible to want to be, or to want to sleep with a prostitute but that's just my opinion.

If she wants to be a slut and he wants to give tickets to a slut in exchange for the herp and I don't have to pay for it in any way, it doesn't matter the least bit to me. I just simply do not understand why something we are allowed to do anyway is considered a crime when monetary gain is involved. If this is going to be the rule I want pregnancy among welfare recipients added to the list of Felonies immediately!

Besides, "Come-uppins" are usually received by those who are deserving.

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