Friday, December 25, 2009

The Only Christmas Song I Don't Hate

Merry Christmas to all those of you out there who aren't wankers.  If you are a wanker then bugger off.  You know who you are.  Merry Christmas people.

Tuesday, December 22, 2009

Vladimir The Judo Master Putin

Russian leader Vladimir Putin has offered to join the national judo team after showing off his martial arts skills to members of the squad.  Strangely enough, he was actually wearing a shirt while he did it.  A gi I suppose they call it, but it could barely contain his raw manliness.  They actually had to give the gi steroids to keep it from simply disintegrating in his presence.

The 57-year-young prime minister (he's actually 57 centuries old but being modest and denying his immortality) made the proposal at a special coaching session on Saturday aired on state television.  Who wouldn’t want Putin on the team.  He once judo chopped a Tyrannosaurus Rex to death with a single Putin blow to the cranium and then made Chuck Norris cry.  That shit is good for morale.  Here's a little tidbit I bet you didn't know, his pecs are named destroyer 1 and destroyer two while his biceps are named apocalypse and death.  It's true!

Putin, who many observers believe is still paramount leader despite standing down as president last year, entered the hall of St Petersburg's School of Sport Mastery dressed in a white judo gi and black belt, to the mandatory applause from the assembled squad.  One squad member who was not paying attention and failed to applaud was immediately reassigned to the Siberian Gulag Judo Squad.

After bowing, the former KGB macho awesome Prime Minister went onto the mats, throwing squad members half his age and even tackling the chief trainer, Olympic Gold medallist Ezio Gamba who began shaking uncontrollably and tearing up (despite trying to hide it) while muttering about his family and refusing to comment about suggestions that he may have allowed Putin to win.

Then, over tea and cakes, Putin made the suggestion.  “If the team is not good enough without me you may tap into my vast, awesome, manliness to assist the motherland in conquering all” (quote may not be exact) he told the trainer, an Italian who won gold at the 1980 Moscow Olympics.

Putin, then pulled out his giant balls and slammed all 92.64 pounds of them onto the coffee table and exclaimed “you may now stroke the perfection of the Putin... touch the balls, feel the power" and the Lord did grin and the people did feast upon the lambs and sloths and carp and anchovies and orangutans and breakfast cereals, and fruit bats.

Officials praised Putin's technique in the Japanese martial art, and dismissed any hint that he may have been allowed to win. "He has the psychology of a winner, the psychology of the victorious" and thinking he was now off the record, Georgy Kukoverov, the school's chief begged for assistance defecting.

Since becoming prime minister, Putin has fueled speculation that he could return to the Kremlin one day with a series of high-profile stunts, baring his chest while riding a horse in Siberia before snapping it's neck like a celery stock.

Fly fishing shirtless just before using his manly yell to part the stream and capture the floundering fish with his teeth.

Tranquilizing a Siberian tiger  with electricity from his personality.

Flying a fighter jet to the year 1758 and back defying the laws of space and time.

And single handedly punching a meteor back out of the solar system with his iron fists before it could land and destroy the earth.  All cameras were immediately vaporized by the raw power of that one so no photos are available.  There was almost a slight controversy when Putin accidentally walked too close to a Russian girl’s school causing the immediate pregnancy of 938 school girls ages 13 - 18 as well as a female bear in the forest nearby (his manly fertility knows no species boundaries) but then all realized how lucky any girl would be to bare Putin’s child and the motherland rejoiced.

When asked to comment, Hugo Chavez exclaimed that since he's already renaming things, all Venezuelan citizens will from now on refer to Russia as The Glorious Republic of Vladimir Putin.

Monday, December 21, 2009

Angels Falls Isn’t So Angelic Says Chavez

The Crazy Fucker who is running Venezuela doesn’t want to call the waterfall “Angel Falls" anymore.  Dictator “President” Hugo Chavez wants to revert back to the indigenous name doesn’t really matter.

The falls were first brought to the attention of the world when US pilot Jimmy Angel first spotted them in 1937.  Since then the falls have become one of Venezuela's top tourist attractions.  Nobody is quite sure what the others might be.

Big Hugo pictured here

and in a later photo

cannot accept that the falls were discovered by an American.  "How could we accept this idea that the falls were discovered by a guy who came from the United States in a plane. If we do that, that would be like accepting that nobody was living here," Chavez mused on his weekly radio and television show, "Hello Mr Megalomaniac President."

While this is true that the falls were surely not “discovered” by Angel, it is also a little far fetched to believe that tiny black men wearing garden vegetables on their penis’ and killing chinchillas for dinner using sharp sticks are going to do a very good job getting the word out about sight seeing options.

"Nobody should speak of Angel Falls any more," Chavez said.  "That is ours, and was a long time before Angel ever got there."

Chavez first proposed calling it the “America Is The Evil Devil Country And I Hate Them Falls” but many said in the native Venezuelan language it just didn’t have a good ring to it.

In indigenous Pemon, the falls are called Kerepakupai meru, meaning... well, something about deep places and falls but I drifted off while they were explaining it.

Chavez likes to change the names of things, it helps make him feel more important and his tiny penis grows a fraction of a millimeter each time he does.

After he came to power in 1999 the herptified cunt Chavez changed the name of his own country from just plain Venezuela to the Bolivarian Republic of Venezuela because it obviously sounds more moronic Marxist proper.  That move was to pay homage to independence fighter Simón José Antonio de la Santísima Trinidad Bolívar Palacios y Blanco... (no, seriously, that’s his name) but most just call him Simon Bolivar and unless you give a flying fuck about South American history he is otherwise irrelevant... I don’t, so I’ll move on without explaining further.

The sphincter Chavez then renamed a mountain in Caracas, previously known as Cerro Avila, with its indigenous name, Guaraira Repano which might mean “Little Fat Dictator Who Looks As Though He Has A Touch Of Down Syndrome Mountain” in the native tongue.

He then renamed megalomaniacal paranoid schizophrenia as self confidence.

Wednesday, December 16, 2009

Iran Gives The West Another Big "Fuck You"

And the West continues to sit with its thumb up its ass.

Iran has successfully test-fired a long-range, upgraded Sejil 2 missile on Wednesday, state television reported, a feat that can be likened to a child with severe autism acquiring a 5 gallon bucket containing ricin.  In their typical moronic, liberal, way, Western sources are now beginning to pretend they are somehow surprised by this and some even suppose that it might cause tension with Iran.  Others suspect that concerns will quickly turn back to more pressing matters like what is that kooky Kanye West up to this time!

British Prime Minister Gordon Brown said the launch was of serious concern to the international community and underlined the case for spreading assistance checks and possibly handing out council estates to Iranian officials so they will be more likely to mill about, drink too many Stellas, and stab pensioners instead of blowing up countries.

Iranian Defense Minister Ahmad “Dastardly Dan” Vahidi said the test was part of efforts to boost Iran’s abilities to annihilate infidels with extreme prejudice.

Al Alam, Iran's Arabic-language satellite television, said the two-stage, solid fuel Sejil missile had a longer range than the Islamic Republic's Shahab model.  It continued to say that President Ahmadinejad’s penis was 16 inches long by 12 inch circumference, his cars were all faster than yours, he can solve a rubiks cube in under 3 seconds every time, and his father can beat up our father.

Iranian officials failed to hide their throbbing boners as they said the Shahab 3 missile can reach targets up to 2,000 km (1,250 miles) away. Such a range would put Israel and U.S. bases in the Gulf within reach.

The missile test coincides with increased tension over Iran's nuclear program, which the West willingly stood by and allowed because there are giant dripping cunts without even a single hint of the balls needed to actually stand up for themselves and for their very survival even when the threat is obvious and loudly outspoken in intention.  Iran, with winks and nods to one another, stated, “no, we simply want to enrich uranium so that we can have power to run air conditioners better.”

Neither Israel nor the United States have ruled out military action if diplomacy fails to resolve the dispute. Iran has vowed to retaliate against any attack.

Meanwhile, Israel is standing by waiting for the pussy Obama to say “it’s alright to defend yourselves” and Obama is waiting for somebody to change his sopping wet pad so he can concentrate on even more effectively erasing any technological advantages the West may have against the willingly “martyred” Muslim nutters who are diligently plugging away at their favorite hobby... which happens to be devising ways to kill infidels with common household products you can find in a household in a shitty fucking country trying desperately to climb out of third world status despite the ridiculous constraints imposed by it’s morbidly oppressive and ridiculous, and almost laughable (if it weren’t so goddamn dangerous) religion.

State television showed a missile launched from desert-like terrain soaring into the sky with a long vapor trail.  It then showed President Ahmadinejad clutching his missile and giggling like a school girl.

"Iran successfully tests optimized version of the first non-camel transported Sejil 2 missile," it said in a breaking news headline.

Vahidi said the missile, which he said was developed by the only Iranian scientists that they haven’t killed because science is incompatible with Islam, needed a shorter launch time and was even more accurate than throwing stones at the heads of women, state television said.

The test came a day after the U.S. House of Representatives approved legislation that they’ll use to threaten to but will never actually use to impose sanctions on foreign companies that help supply gasoline to Iran.   This is a measure lawmakers (liars elected by nieve public) pretend to hope will deter Tehran from pursuing its nuclear work.

Iran has repeatedly shrugged off the impact of such punitive measures, that include three rounds of limited U.N. sanctions since 2006 because all they need is the capability to wipe Israel off the map and blow up a few U.S. cities and they’ll finally get those portly and sweaty, unibrow-having “virgins” that Allah promised them.  They just want something to have sex with that doesn’t have 4 legs and spit at them... can you blame them.

In Copenhagen, Britain's Brown said after meeting U.N. Secretary-General Ban Ki-moon: "I have expressed to him and he has also expressed concern about the test of a long-range missile by Iran.  With that circle jerk complete, Brown flew back to continue perpetuating the decline of his once great country while General Blanket Who-Gives-A-Shit continued to be almost as useless like the organization he is a part of.

"This is a matter of serious concern to the international community and it does make the case for us moving further on sanctions ... We will treat this with the seriousness it deserves."  When asked what that meant, General Blanky Poon said the West will continue to talk semi-tough, threaten things they don’t plan of following through with, repeatedly mention how peaceful Islam is, and basically ignore the issue until it hopefully disappears.  If the situation gets bad enough, a few peacekeepers will be sent to get shot and retreat.

In September, Iran test-fired missiles which a commander said could reach any regional target. The White House branded those tests "provocative" let out a tiny poo in it’s collective White House pants.
Washington suspects Iran is trying to develop nuclear bomb capability and has previously expressed concern about Tehran's missile program.  Iran says its nuclear work is solely for generating peaceful electricity and then several officials peacefully used a large rock to smash the skull of a woman who was buried up to her waist in the street for not having dinner ready when her husband returned from Jihad training camp.

Earlier this week, diplomats said intelligence (a term we use loosely) suggested that Iran worked on testing a key atomic bomb component as recently as 2007, a finding which if proven would clash with Iran's assertion its nuclear work is for civilian use which Western officials are trying very hard to believe just long enough to get us all killed so they’ll get reelected up until the very last election.

Iran's Foreign Ministry rejected the claim as "baseless" and as Westerners we know for a fact that all people are always good and Islam is the religion of peace which would never lie to us.

On Tuesday, Israeli military intelligence chief Major-General Amos Yadlin said: "Iran is striving to improve it surface-to-surface missile capability. It is developing missiles propelled by solid fuel and is expanding their range to other continents."  On Wednesday President Obama offered to sucky sucky fi dolla for three prominent Muslim officials and groveled at the feet of two more while he massaged the bunions of an Imam, bowed to a Chinese official, and at the same time laid his jacket over a mud puddle so a Somali Warlord didn’t soil his shoe-less feet.

The United States and five other major powers said on Tuesday that a planned meeting on Iran's nuclear program will not take place this year because they would prefer to pretend the problem is not there and hope that Iran gets bored and moves on to Kite flying instead.

When Ahmadinejad was asked about further sanctions against his country if he didn’t stop his activities he simply laughed, said “Russia will sell us their very soul for bargain bin prices so the West can threaten all they want.  Soon, Allah will judge us all so the West can shit in one hand and wish in the other.”

Thursday, December 10, 2009

Brian David Mitchell - Justice... Only For Victimless Crimes In America?

A federal prison psychologist says that the suspect in the abduction of Elizabeth Smart understands the accusations against him but isn't competent to stand trial.

This confuses me because I was under the impression that to stand trial one must simply sit there in a chair while people read evidence against you and your lawyer lies as best he can in an attempt to get your dangerous ass released back into the public so you can kidnap and rape more children.  I didn’t realize that the parking of one’s bottom in a chair required elevated levels of reasoning ability.

Dr. Richart DeMier of the U.S. Medical Center for Federal Prisoners in Springfield, Mo., disagrees with me and said that he had determined that Brian David Mitchell is suffering from paranoid schizophrenia.

Dr. Dillinger of the Dillinger Medical Board of Professional Psychiatric Doctor-type-people replied that is all the more reason to put his paranoid schizophrenic ass in prison before he fucks up more people’s lives.

“DeMier said during a competency hearing for Mitchell in U.S. District Court Wednesday that Mitchell is not making rational decisions about his criminal defense,” which is a terrible shame because the kidnaping, holding captive, sometimes starving, and raping of a 14 year old up to four times a day for 9 months is extremely rational.  So rational in fact, maybe they should just give him a medal and let him go.

"If he believes he's going to be miraculously delivered from prison by God in two years time, that's not a rational thought process," said DeMier, who evaluated Mitchell over 45 days a year ago.

Which is funny because I work with a lot of people who think they’re going to be miraculously delivered from this world at some point.  From this world!  That’s even more miraculous than prison!  No, really, it is.  Theoretically I could likely deliver somebody from prison if I cared to chance the trouble...  I do not.  I’m not even god-like really... very handsome yes, but god-like, probably not?  So if I can do it then it musn’t be so miraculous and therefore not all that unreasonable and for this reason it’s not that irrational.  From this world on the other hand...  I can’t take your ass to heaven, it’s probably very far to heaven, but out of prison may merely be across the street.  Soooo, theoretically everybody who believes god will take them to heaven is more irrational than this silly son of a bitch who’s only getting a trip out of the building.

Mitchell participated in less than five hours of formal interviews and talked at length about his religious beliefs but shut down when DeMier raised issues related to his mental competency, the psychologist said.

Mitchell also directed staff at the Missouri hospital to refer to him by his religious name, Immanuel David Isaiah, the prophet, DeMier said.

Doctors won’t even believe this silly bastard and millions believe the psychopath Muhammad?  I guess he’ll just have to do what Muhammad did and write a passage that says something along the lines of: The Doctors will hide behind the rock and tree, and the rock and tree will say oh Rapist there is a Doctor behind me come and kill him.  Alright, sorry I got a little of track for a second.

But DeMier said that Mitchell does understand the charges against him, the court process and the roles of the judge, prosecutors and defense attorneys.  Mitchell, 56, has been indicted on federal charges of kidnaping and unlawful transportation of a minor across state lines.  In October, she testified she was raped after being forced into a religious marriage with Mitchell within hours of the kidnaping.
Federal prosecutors contend Mitchell is competent. A New York forensic psychiatrist said he is faking or exaggerating symptoms of mental illness to avoid prosecution.  Mitchell's federal public defenders claim he is unable to assist them with his case.

The Dillinger Institute For Laws That Don’t Exist But Should has suggested that if the person is too goddamn crazy to go on trial then the person is too goddamn crazy to be released into public.  If the person is too goddamn crazy to be released into public and too goddamn crazy to go on trial then the person won’t know the goddamn difference if we kill their crazy-ass so they aren’t wasting our valuable time, food, money, and space.

Monday, December 7, 2009

Cell Phone Driver Danger?

Here’s one for the “home state laws” category.  They may be just as asinine as anything the Federal Government could manage, but these ones directly annoy us.

Pennsylvania is slowly beginning to enforce bans on “hand-held-cell-phones.”  First, Philadelphia's banned it while driving within city limits.  Now Erie has proposed a ban Patterned on the one in Philly.

Experts say that it’s still too early to tell if the ban in Philly has cut down on phone use or prevented accidents but were happy to report that their crime rate is still world class and the city is still a fucking dump.  This proves that the ban was apparently not too disruptive.   One police officer who asked to remain anonymous said “It’s a great new law.  Times have been very hard for the department in this slow economy.  We’ve taken budget cuts and had to lay off officers left and right.  This law has been great because there are so many hardened cell phone users out there to be brought to justice.  The money from the fines is putting officers back on the street without putting them in the dangerous situations that they would be in while fighting real crime.”  He concluded with “I would just like to tell all of the criminal phone users on the street:  If you perpetrate in my neighborhood I’ll take you down!”

Two days after the city began enforcement, the Philadelphia Police Department had issued 160 citations for violation of the law and the boners were rock hard all around.

“Our biggest hope is that the state of Pennsylvania would pass this as a law as part of the Pennsylvania Motor Vehicle Code,” said Lt. Frank Something Italian, a department spokesman. "For public safety, we really need to pass some type of driving-while-distracted law. Something needs to be done” to prevent all this convenient communication.

Statistics obtained in a study by a reputable group of really smart scientists who were certainly not being funded by the group who wants to ban phone use while driving found some very interesting facts.

100% of car accidents occurred within 2 miles of somebody using a cell phone.

67% of people who owned a cell phone have in fact been involved in an accident at some point.

For every 1 additional mile per hour you are traveling when you run into something while talking on a cell phone, you are 99% more likely to sustain worse injuries than if you struck something while driving slower and not talking on your cell phone.

93% of people who drive cars daily are almost too stupid to remember how to swallow and when they talk on a cell phone they are more likely to have an accident.

82% of people had an IQ that matched the number of accidents they had been in with a cell phone in the car.

Another study found that when cell phone use is banned it initially declines but then increases again over time as people get tired of following along with such laughable laws.  One man who was asked what he thought about the proposed bans said that it’s really nothing more than a ploy by “legislators” and “law enforcement officials” to attempt to veil the extortion of more money from an already financially strapped public in the name of “safety.”

Institute researchers found, in the long-term, that hand-held cell-phone use in Connecticut was 65 percent lower than would be expected without the ban; in New York and D.C., usage was 24 percent and 43 percent lower respectively than would be expected without the bans.  What did not go down the least bit is the number of disrespectful cunts who cannot interrupt their pointless conversation long enough to actually pay for their shit and get the fuck out of the store in a timely manner so that the rest of us can as well.  A study that was done by scientists at the Dillinger institute this past year show that 89% of those who would refuse to hang up the cell phone for their own funeral are “minorities.”  Dillinger institute scientists would not further break down these statistics into minority groups because said groups are very whiny.  One scientist was quoted as saying “if you ever go shopping in public places you know who we mean.”  If you’re thinking “that’s racist” then you’re wrong because it isn’t wrong if it’s true.  Do your own study and prove us wrong or shut it!

Scientists from those less reputable firms than the Dillinger Institute said the link between decreased cell use and safety still isn't clear because "Many drivers still use their hand-held phones, even where it's banned, and other drivers simply switch to hands-free phones, which doesn't help because crash risk is about the same, regardless of phone type.”

An Erie Police Chief said a regional or statewide ban would be more practical and easier to enforce than a law limited to the city of Erie.  "By creating pockets (where cell-phone use is regulated) all over this state or any state, you're going to end up with enforcement problems.  You're going to run across a number of people rolling across (municipal borders), and they're going to roll from one side to another and go from legal to illegal with no buffer in between."  If this happens you know you’ve done it right.  Confused public is easiest to fool and ignorance of the law (or its borders) is no excuse.

State Rep. Joe Markosek, of Allegheny County, D-25th Dist., the lead sponsor of a pending bill that would outlaw text messaging while driving, said he believes a statewide ban can be effective, and ultimately help save lives because more restrictions on activities in which people can take part means less ways they can hurt themselves.

A statewide law would help prevent a "chaotic system" of different local laws that could confuse motorists, he said.  "We have to make it as clear and non-complicated for the idiot masses to understand ... here's what I can and can't do," Markosek implied. "If we had this ... patchwork of different laws, it would be unfair to the public."

The biggest benefit of any regulation, either statewide or local, is increased awareness, Markosek said.

"Anytime you're dealing with changing behavior, it only works if the folks you want to change ultimately buy into the program," he said. "There are certain social habits that folks get into, and they're very difficult to break.  You have to pass as many difficult laws as possible and corral the sheeple into the direction you want them to go."

I personally agree with the ban 100% said this blogger.  I hate it when my life is easy and when I can do things like answer my phone and say “Oh, hi honey… what? We need milk before I’m 30 miles past the store? Alright, I’ll stop and get some.”  I much prefer being chased down, pulled out of my car, tazed, arrested, and fined huge amounts of money after being surrounded by 30 police officers who are enforcing cell phone bans instead of solving and preventing rapes, murders, robbery, burglary, muggings and the like.  I go on the same theory that current legislators and law enforcers use.  If you can’t manage to enforce the laws that are already in place and actually protect the people from things that are actually bad and already considered crimes, just make more laws and criminalize more things that are easier to “protect” the people from.  That’s the ticket!  Lowering the bar mutha-fuckas, lowering the bar.

I must say, I do agree that text messaging while driving is dangerous.  There’s no question that looking at anything other than the road while driving is not a safe activity.  Even if the phone is at windshield level, you’re still only seeing the road out of peripheral.  Talking on the phone while driving is still allows you to see the whole road even though it’s requiring you to think about more than one thing at a time.  The fact of the matter is simple.  It’s not the cell phone that is causing the problem it is the person.  Some people are simply too goddamn stupid to be driving period.  I would venture to say that 75 – 85% of people in the United States who have a license to drive have no business behind the wheel of a car.  Some people really are too simple or too stupid to do certain things and driving is one of them.

I don’t buy into that “you can do anything you put your mind to” idealism.  No, you can’t, some minds just aren’t suited to grasp certain tasks no matter how simple.  Some minds are even more simple than the most simple of tasks and many minds are more simple than even moderately simple tasks.  Driving requires concentration and critical thinking that many people just don’t have with or without a cell phone.  If you want to ban distractions in the car you would have to ban the very brain that resides in most people’s heads.  Why not ban car radios?  Radios in cars require station and volume changes, CD changes and other changes that required adjustments.  No more car radio.  Better ban eating in the car because that distracts the driver.  Better ban rear view mirrors because sometimes people adjust those while they drive which takes their mind of driving.  Maybe we should ban heaters and air conditioners in the cars because they require attention for adjustments sometimes.

No pets in cars because they are certainly a distraction.  No more talking in cars to other passengers because that’s no different than being on a hands free headset.  No more passengers in cars at all because their simple movement can be a distraction.  Let’s lower the speed limit again because if people are going slower they have more time to react if they get distracted and get into trouble.  Maybe we should lower that more because people are still getting hurt.  Cars are very dangerous; we had better go back to horse drawn carriages.  Are you beginning to see my point yet?  I fucking hate “lawmakers!”  I fucking hate “legislators!”  I fucking hate politicians!

You can’t protect people against everything.  Some shit just happens to have inherent risk involved.  Driving is one of those things.  I think the unwillingness of the people to stop using cell phones in cars is a pretty good indicator of the general willingness to accept the risk.  Aren’t our “Democratic” governments supposed to be here for the will of the people?  That would imply the “majority” of the people and not the minority of busy-bodies who want to impose their will on everybody else for whatever reason they’ve chosen today.  For those of you who don’t like that, too goddamn bad, you’ve been outvoted, stay in your house and cower in your panic room for the rest of your life.

It isn’t the cell phone it’s the stupidity and you cannot legislate stupid… Yet.

Tuesday, December 1, 2009

Racist Swiss Racists Are Irrationally Afraid of Peaceful Religion of Peacefullness

Switzerland... formerly known for the army knife and apathy, now taking a different route.  Those crazy intolerant Swiss are being racist.  Racist against the religion of peace.  Islamic nations (who are famous for their own tolerance and rationality) reacted with anger to a shock vote to ban new minarets.

The Vatican joined in the dhimmitude by expressing dismay after Sunday's vote for a constitutional ban on the construction of towers attached to mosques, while the government moved to assure Muslims it was not a rejection of their religion.

It is apparent that the Vatican’t is still unaware that Islam is still intent on converting, subjugating, or killing all Christians.  They do want that land back that they once stole and then had re-stolen from them during The Crusades.

Several super awesome countries well known for their own tolerance of other religions and ideals.  Egypt, Indonesia, Lebanon and other Islamic countries while Pakistani religious groups condemned it as "extreme Islamophobia."

It is a shame that the Swiss are so irrationally afraid of this wonderful religion and the gigantic, towering phallic symbols that they like to build to overshadow everything and show Islamic dominance over everything.

Did you know that no structure is supposed to be built higher than any mosque nearby?  It’s a good rule, I think it’s fair considering that when Christians want to build new, big churches in Islamic countries, the Muslims always happily allow it and usually they even donate help and money…  Oh, wait, you say that they don’t?  Alright, maybe they don’t, but at least they allow Christians to fix up churches that are already in place and damaged or run down or things like that.  Oh… They don’t allow that either?  I don’t know what to say now.

“Such an anachronistic referendum should not have been allowed to take place in these times," said Turkey's culture minister, Ertugrul Gunay.

In case the vocabulary happens to be questionable or too difficult for any of my readers, I will happily translate for you.

In good, old fashioned, simple, American English Mr. Gunay said: “how dare you inferior people attempt to prevent Islam from taking one unimpeded step after another to begin taking over your country piece by piece, law by law, thought by thought.  If you continue to impede our progress it is possible that we will never gain a population majority in this country and will therefore never get to implement Sharia and extort the mandated jizya (tax against non-Muslims) from you!  If you continue to fight our cultural takeover and continue to disbelieve that there are ‘moderate Muslims’ who just want to the right to practice their religion in peace then how will Islam ever gain the control needed to destroy your culture, rape your women and children, and turn your people into slaves like Allah requires?

Look at all the ‘moderate Germans’ there were during Hitler’s bid for power.  There were far more moderate Germans than ones who wanted to kill all the Jews and they stopped the radical Nazis from ever gaining the power needed to cause any issues.  Moderate Germans outnumbered the radical ones and kept World War II from having to occur.

It didn’t you say?  Oh, well, it could have!  It will this time, this time it's different!

The largest Muslim group in Indonesia, the world's biggest Muslim-majority country, condemned it as a religious "hatred" but urged a restrained response.  They then went back to administering the last of 100 lashings to the bare back of a woman who showed too much ankle in public and prepared to behead another for having a vagina.

"This is the hatred of Swiss people against Muslim communities," said Maskuri Abdillah, head of Nahdlatul Ulama which has 40 million members.  Most of whom are illiterate, irrational, and completely devoid of the ability to formulate a single syllable thought without the help of an Imam and their grand book of megalomaniacal rantings.

"They don't want to see a Muslim presence in their country and this intense dislike has made them intolerant," a spokes-caveman said.  It’s not like Muslims commonly blow things up, protest with implied violence, threaten, and even carry out murders of non-Muslims for things so simple as questioning Islam, or drawing a cartoon.  It’s not like that has ever happened and especially not like it continuously happens.

They just hate Muslims for their freedom to not have any freedom!

The imam of Switzerland's biggest mosque, in Geneva, meanwhile called on the Muslim world to "respect, without accepting" the outcome and to avoid abandoning ties with Switzerland.  Never you fear my Muslim brethren he communicated silently.  If we start quietly and calmly pretending to accept the infidel attempts to defend himself he will soon lose interest and go back to worrying about football and being oblivious to our attempts to undermine his society.  At this time we will begin slowly taking control again.  If you continue blowing shit up he’ll get suspicious and block our attempts.  Do not be violent because you idiots are ruining everything.

In an interview with AFP, Youssef Ibram nonetheless sharply criticized Swiss authorities for not intervening more forcefully in defense of forcing the Swiss in Switzerland to let Muslims do whatever they please at any expense to the Swiss before the referendum got off the ground.

The message was echoed by Farhad Afshar, who heads the Coordination of Islamic Organisations in Switzerland.

"The most painful for us is not the minaret ban, but the symbol sent by this vote. Muslims do not feel accepted as a religious community," he said.  For this it is possible that we will have to peacefully murder somebody and blow something up.

Muslims account for just five percent of Switzerland's population of 7.5 million people, and form the third largest religious group after the dominant Roman Catholic and Protestant communities.

A 5% population it just so happens is all that is required to get ones way in case some of you were unaware. If 5% votes for something and 95% vote against it, the vote gets passed.  This is because the Swiss are dirty pigs and Muslims are the holy people of Allah, even if they do look like flee-bags, smell like shit, and act like a hyperactive 3 year old having a temper tantrum because he cannot have the toy he wants.

The government rushed to assure the country's Muslims that the outcome was not a rejection of Muslim religion or culture and that the Socialist governmental structure would do it’s very best to convince the Swiss people that subjugation and dhimmitude are the way to go.  Foreign Minister Micheline Calmy Rey met ambassadors from Islamic countries to "explain."

Swedish Foreign Minister Carl “Asshat” Bildt, whose country holds the European Union presidency, called the vote "an expression of quite a bit of prejudice and maybe even fear" and "a negative signal in every way." He then turned around and finished the transaction with Allah's mindless minions for the soul of his country.

The Organisation for Security and Cooperation in Europe (OSCE) warned the vote had the potential "to create tensions and generate a climate of intolerance against Muslims."  We are all aware of the rules.  Intolerance against Muslims is not acceptable because it is mandated by Allah, Muhammad is his Prophet, pieces be of him, that it is the Muslims who are not supposed to tolerate us and not the other way around.

The secretary general of the Council of Europe, Thorbjorn Jagland, said it raised concerns of whether fundamental individual rights that are protected by international treaties should be subject to popular vote.  He then removed his trousers and happily presented his asshole to the Muslim delegation for the running of a train.

Swiss newspapers warned that the referendum had inflicted "spectacular damage" to the country's international standing.   All aboooaaard!  Express route to hell leaves in 5 minutes and if you aren’t on board it’s because you are Neanderthal and unenlightened!  Sink with us or we shall shun you.

The United Nations called Switzerland's ban on new minarets and deeply divisive, and the Swiss foreign minister acknowledged Tuesday the government was very concerned about how the vote would affect the country's image.

My question for my readers, and some of you may be able to enlighten me on this one.  Please, if you can answer then by all means do.  What does the United Nations do?  What positive contribution to anything does the United Nations make?  Why is the U.N. not simply a Union to protect the useless at the expense of the productive?  Why should any country that cares about it’s own well being not simply tell the U.N. to take it’s socialist bullshit and go fuck itself?  Please, I will be awaiting your responses with baited breath.

U.N. human rights chief Navi Pillay said Sunday's referendum to outlaw the construction of minarets in Switzerland was the product of "anti-foreigner scare-mongering."  There was no mention that the mongering of the scare was actually done by Muslims terrorizing shit.

The criticism from Pillay, whose office is based in the Swiss city of Geneva, comes after an outcry from Muslim (facist cuntbag) countries, Switzerland's European neighbors (socialist douchebags) and human rights watchdogs (miserable wastes of time, money, and resources) since 57.5 percent of the Swiss population ratified the ban.

The referendum doesn't affect Switzerland's four existing minarets which this blogger personally thinks should not escape the referendum.  It also doesn’t affect the ability of Muslims to practice their religion.  It only bans the towers used to put out the Islamic call to prayer which regardless of what Muslims like to believe, does not need to be heard by the other 95% of the people in Switzerland against the will of that 95% of Swiss simply so the arrogant and pushy religion of cuntbaggery can have it’s way.

Now, (Allah forbid) wealthy Muslim Arab turds tourists might think twice now about suicide bombing spending their money in Geneva and other Swiss cities, and the passive leftist neutral country's efforts to mediate in the Israeli-Palestinian conflict could also suffer.

"We are very concerned with this referendum. The reality of our societies in Europe and throughout the world is that each limitation on the coexistence of different cultures and religions also endangers our security," Calmy-Rey said during a meeting of foreign ministers of the 56-nation Organization for Security and Cooperation in Europe.

"Provocation risks triggering other provocation and risks inflaming extremism," she added.  Again in plain English this would translate to “they’ve proven that they’re violent and if we don’t give in willingly and accept second class status then we will be forced to actually fight for our freedom.  Standing up for oneself is unacceptable and should not be tolerated in an enlightened country.  All Swiss persons may want to consider signing over your home to the nearest Muslim you can find now, and if your wife is hot, her too.  This will save time and effort in the end.”

I must say something.  Good for you Swiss citizenry.  Shame on you Swiss government.  Fuck you complaining-ass Muslims.  Stand up Western society.  Stand up, stand proud, continue fighting if you are already and take up the fight if you haven’t yet because it’s not just extra shade you’re going to gain if you give in.