Pennsylvania is slowly beginning to enforce bans on “hand-held-cell-phones.” First, Philadelphia's banned it while driving within city limits. Now Erie has proposed a ban Patterned on the one in Philly.
Experts say that it’s still too early to tell if the ban in Philly has cut down on phone use or prevented accidents but were happy to report that their crime rate is still world class and the city is still a fucking dump. This proves that the ban was apparently not too disruptive. One police officer who asked to remain anonymous said “It’s a great new law. Times have been very hard for the department in this slow economy. We’ve taken budget cuts and had to lay off officers left and right. This law has been great because there are so many hardened cell phone users out there to be brought to justice. The money from the fines is putting officers back on the street without putting them in the dangerous situations that they would be in while fighting real crime.” He concluded with “I would just like to tell all of the criminal phone users on the street: If you perpetrate in my neighborhood I’ll take you down!”
Two days after the city began enforcement, the Philadelphia Police Department had issued 160 citations for violation of the law and the boners were rock hard all around.
“Our biggest hope is that the state of Pennsylvania would pass this as a law as part of the Pennsylvania Motor Vehicle Code,” said Lt. Frank Something Italian, a department spokesman. "For public safety, we really need to pass some type of driving-while-distracted law. Something needs to be done” to prevent all this convenient communication.
Statistics obtained in a study by a reputable group of really smart scientists who were certainly not being funded by the group who wants to ban phone use while driving found some very interesting facts.
100% of car accidents occurred within 2 miles of somebody using a cell phone.
67% of people who owned a cell phone have in fact been involved in an accident at some point.
For every 1 additional mile per hour you are traveling when you run into something while talking on a cell phone, you are 99% more likely to sustain worse injuries than if you struck something while driving slower and not talking on your cell phone.
93% of people who drive cars daily are almost too stupid to remember how to swallow and when they talk on a cell phone they are more likely to have an accident.
82% of people had an IQ that matched the number of accidents they had been in with a cell phone in the car.
Another study found that when cell phone use is banned it initially declines but then increases again over time as people get tired of following along with such laughable laws. One man who was asked what he thought about the proposed bans said that it’s really nothing more than a ploy by “legislators” and “law enforcement officials” to attempt to veil the extortion of more money from an already financially strapped public in the name of “safety.”
Institute researchers found, in the long-term, that hand-held cell-phone use in Connecticut was 65 percent lower than would be expected without the ban; in New York and D.C., usage was 24 percent and 43 percent lower respectively than would be expected without the bans. What did not go down the least bit is the number of disrespectful cunts who cannot interrupt their pointless conversation long enough to actually pay for their shit and get the fuck out of the store in a timely manner so that the rest of us can as well. A study that was done by scientists at the Dillinger institute this past year show that 89% of those who would refuse to hang up the cell phone for their own funeral are “minorities.” Dillinger institute scientists would not further break down these statistics into minority groups because said groups are very whiny. One scientist was quoted as saying “if you ever go shopping in public places you know who we mean.” If you’re thinking “that’s racist” then you’re wrong because it isn’t wrong if it’s true. Do your own study and prove us wrong or shut it!
Scientists from those less reputable firms than the Dillinger Institute said the link between decreased cell use and safety still isn't clear because "Many drivers still use their hand-held phones, even where it's banned, and other drivers simply switch to hands-free phones, which doesn't help because crash risk is about the same, regardless of phone type.”
An Erie Police Chief said a regional or statewide ban would be more practical and easier to enforce than a law limited to the city of Erie. "By creating pockets (where cell-phone use is regulated) all over this state or any state, you're going to end up with enforcement problems. You're going to run across a number of people rolling across (municipal borders), and they're going to roll from one side to another and go from legal to illegal with no buffer in between." If this happens you know you’ve done it right. Confused public is easiest to fool and ignorance of the law (or its borders) is no excuse.
State Rep. Joe Markosek, of Allegheny County, D-25th Dist., the lead sponsor of a pending bill that would outlaw text messaging while driving, said he believes a statewide ban can be effective, and ultimately help save lives because more restrictions on activities in which people can take part means less ways they can hurt themselves.
A statewide law would help prevent a "chaotic system" of different local laws that could confuse motorists, he said. "We have to make it as clear and non-complicated for the idiot masses to understand ... here's what I can and can't do," Markosek implied. "If we had this ... patchwork of different laws, it would be unfair to the public."
The biggest benefit of any regulation, either statewide or local, is increased awareness, Markosek said.
"Anytime you're dealing with changing behavior, it only works if the folks you want to change ultimately buy into the program," he said. "There are certain social habits that folks get into, and they're very difficult to break. You have to pass as many difficult laws as possible and corral the sheeple into the direction you want them to go."
I personally agree with the ban 100% said this blogger. I hate it when my life is easy and when I can do things like answer my phone and say “Oh, hi honey… what? We need milk before I’m 30 miles past the store? Alright, I’ll stop and get some.” I much prefer being chased down, pulled out of my car, tazed, arrested, and fined huge amounts of money after being surrounded by 30 police officers who are enforcing cell phone bans instead of solving and preventing rapes, murders, robbery, burglary, muggings and the like. I go on the same theory that current legislators and law enforcers use. If you can’t manage to enforce the laws that are already in place and actually protect the people from things that are actually bad and already considered crimes, just make more laws and criminalize more things that are easier to “protect” the people from. That’s the ticket! Lowering the bar mutha-fuckas, lowering the bar.
I must say, I do agree that text messaging while driving is dangerous. There’s no question that looking at anything other than the road while driving is not a safe activity. Even if the phone is at windshield level, you’re still only seeing the road out of peripheral. Talking on the phone while driving is still allows you to see the whole road even though it’s requiring you to think about more than one thing at a time. The fact of the matter is simple. It’s not the cell phone that is causing the problem it is the person. Some people are simply too goddamn stupid to be driving period. I would venture to say that 75 – 85% of people in the United States who have a license to drive have no business behind the wheel of a car. Some people really are too simple or too stupid to do certain things and driving is one of them.
I don’t buy into that “you can do anything you put your mind to” idealism. No, you can’t, some minds just aren’t suited to grasp certain tasks no matter how simple. Some minds are even more simple than the most simple of tasks and many minds are more simple than even moderately simple tasks. Driving requires concentration and critical thinking that many people just don’t have with or without a cell phone. If you want to ban distractions in the car you would have to ban the very brain that resides in most people’s heads. Why not ban car radios? Radios in cars require station and volume changes, CD changes and other changes that required adjustments. No more car radio. Better ban eating in the car because that distracts the driver. Better ban rear view mirrors because sometimes people adjust those while they drive which takes their mind of driving. Maybe we should ban heaters and air conditioners in the cars because they require attention for adjustments sometimes.
No pets in cars because they are certainly a distraction. No more talking in cars to other passengers because that’s no different than being on a hands free headset. No more passengers in cars at all because their simple movement can be a distraction. Let’s lower the speed limit again because if people are going slower they have more time to react if they get distracted and get into trouble. Maybe we should lower that more because people are still getting hurt. Cars are very dangerous; we had better go back to horse drawn carriages. Are you beginning to see my point yet? I fucking hate “lawmakers!” I fucking hate “legislators!” I fucking hate politicians!
You can’t protect people against everything. Some shit just happens to have inherent risk involved. Driving is one of those things. I think the unwillingness of the people to stop using cell phones in cars is a pretty good indicator of the general willingness to accept the risk. Aren’t our “Democratic” governments supposed to be here for the will of the people? That would imply the “majority” of the people and not the minority of busy-bodies who want to impose their will on everybody else for whatever reason they’ve chosen today. For those of you who don’t like that, too goddamn bad, you’ve been outvoted, stay in your house and cower in your panic room for the rest of your life.
It isn’t the cell phone it’s the stupidity and you cannot legislate stupid… Yet.
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