Now this net system is quite awesome. The Northman Institute has had our scientists extensively reviewing it's proposed effectiveness for several minutes now and we deem to to be 279% flawless. I would simply direct your attention to an unnamed artist's rendering of this ingenious net system that was so well thought out that it is guaranteed not to fail.
So now that we've gotten these most important facts down we're going to have to consider some other issues in order to save our nation's oh so valuable suicidally depressed and sometimes downright crazy people because God knows... if I believed in god, that we need them around otherwise who will flip their shit and go on killing sprees if we let them all kill themselves.
I suggest we completely ignore the far less iconic Oakland-San Fransisco Bay Bridge since we haven't yet put up the nets so people haven't been thwarted yet at the Golden gate and begun hurling themselves off that one. I know, I know, it's pretty far fetched. I realize that I'm taking a pretty huge leap (no pun intended... oh who am I kidding, sure there was) to consider that a suicidal person who might want to jump off a bridge might manage to take their Prius or the Bus or whatever that particular hippie prefers and go the less than 9 miles to the Oakland-San Fransisco Bay Bridge which is almost the same height as the Golden Gate Bridge and instead take a flying header off of that one into oblivion.
|Not my photo... Not claiming it is my photo... Don't know who took it.|
I know, it's a stupid thought so I'll just drop it like a bridge jumper. Ouch... that wasn't nice. I would also like to add that there's no way somebody who can't jump from a bridge will choose to instead throw themselves in front of one of these.
|Again not my photo|
I would just like to say once again. Good job San Fransisco and good job California for being such geniuses and ensuring that people who don't want to live and/or have no reason to live are forced to do it against their will. Good on you you democracy loving people you.