Sunday, May 3, 2015

Michael Moore and Piers Morgan are Whiny Cunts Who Should Be Deported

Shit is oozing out in droves to cause havoc in Baltimore, The Sewer (aka Ferguson), and Pennsylvania's Asshole (aka Philadelphia) as well as some other places that I would pray to God (if I believed in God) that they would burn to the fucking ground.  With all this shit coming out of course Michael Moor and Piers Morgan would be no exception. I'm really not going to talk about Piers Morgan here though despite mentioning him. Here's a question for all of you actually... Who the fuck is Piers Morgan? What does he do? What is his purpose on this planet? I mean I know that he's from the UK somewhere and I know he is a loudmouth, wingnut, and not very bright, these are things I am aware of but why is he here in my country? And more importantly why do people keep asking for or putting his opinions into the news.

You see, this is him, I know who he is, I just don't know what purpose he serves except to snivel and whine and complain about OUR country from which he is not. You don't live here, you aren't from here, and I propose that we deport you. Not the usual deportation, the Northman style of deportation where we fly you back to the UK and we open the door on the plane and shove you the fuck out at 30,000 feet. I'll give you a fucking grocery bag that you can use to slow your fall. Doesn't he just look like people STILL steal his lunch money on a regular basis. I know I would. This guy irritates me with his constant bitching about guns and the fact that we have them and how it's so much better in the UK where nobody except the criminals have them.

If you the UK and their policies are such a good fucking role model why are you here and not there? That's right, because you're a fucking twat who is here to not unlike a wart on one's anal sphincter. It doesn't serve a purpose, have original thoughts, or do anything at all except be hard to get rid of and irritate it's host.

Let us look at gun crime in the UK which we should be so lucky to try to emulate.

Gun crime in England and Wales soared by 35% last year.

Criminals used handguns in 46% more offenses than they did just last year.

Firearms were used in 9,974 recorded crimes in the 12 months to last April, up from 7,362.

It was the fourth consecutive year to see a rise and there were more than 2,200 more gun crimes last year than the previous peak in 1993.

Figures showed the number of crimes involving handguns had more than doubled since the post-Dunblane massacre ban on the weapons, from 2,636 in 1997-1998 to 5,871.

Unadjusted figures showed overall recorded crime in the 12 months to last September rose 9.3%.

"Despite the street crime initiative, robbery is massively up. So are gun-related crimes, domestic burglary, retail burglary, and drug offenses.

One genius said "Gun crime would not be cracked until gangs were broken up and the streets "reclaimed for the honest citizen by proper neighborhood policing".

So what you're saying is that banning guns didn't do shit to keep criminals from getting and using guns in crimes against the law abiding citizens who can't have guns to protect themselves against criminals with guns and likely as a result we saw both crime rates rise and the rate that guns are used to commit crimes rising with it.

You people are brilliant. Piers Morgan, go back to England where it's so much safer because of their assign laws.

Now on to Michael Moore. I know you all know who he is. He's the slovenly fat fuck who appears in the news now and then spouting some manner of nonsense about what he thinks will solve the problems of the United States just like Piers Morgan does. You can't miss him... no really, you can't miss him. Sometimes he looks like a fat cunt with a beard to hide his double chin and a stupid baseball cap sat on top of his hipster hair that most people grow out of by age 10 and sometimes he looks like Bruce Jenner after he started becoming Brucita or whoever he is now and if he binged on cow sized chocolate covered and deep fried steaks for 20 years.

Yet again during this Baltimore circus out comes the Michael Moore from wherever he holes up stuffing his face in between his mindless rants to give us yet more of his golden opinions.

Today apparently he got on the bleeter or tweeter or his twit account or whatever the fuck that shit is and bestowed upon us these great bits of gleaming wisdom.

"Here's my demand: I want every African-American currently incarcerated for drug "crimes" or nonviolent offenses released from prison today."
 Ok. So fair enough, he wants every person who was born in Africa but is now an American citizen but has been incarcerated for drug crimes or nonviolent offences to be released from prison...

Oh, wait, African American refers to all black people, even those who weren't born in Africa? Even those who have never been to Africa? What if they can't even find Africa on a globe? You say they're still African American? Hmmm, that's curious... From now on I will expect that I should never be called white, it offends me. I shall be referred to as Danish American. There will be a spot provided on every sheet given to me where it asks for race from this point on out.

The next thing I find fun is that it's only the "African-Americans" (because know we've determined if you are black you are from Africa, even if you are from say Jamaica) that Mr. Fatty-Dub-Chin wants released from prison. If you are white and are in for the same crimes you have to stay in prison to help even out the statistics. Black people have been getting into schools over you even if you're more qualified for a while now as well as getting into jobs as well over you as a result of affirmative action quotas and you've accepted it so you're just going to have to deal with this as well. Sorry honky, Barack Obama doesn't care about white people. You see what I did there? Do you? If you don't get it then fucking look again!

I also love the fact that it's not only "drug crimes" which I myself do actually believe are bullshit. Legalize them all and regulate them. If people want drugs let them have it. You cut out a lot of crime that way which usually is related to selling or getting the drugs. Then if somebody wants heroin or whatever, we know it's dangerous. It's less dangerous because it's regulated and we know what's in it. Here's a waver, read it, understand it, sign it. If you overdose the public is not responsible for you. We will leave you die where you lay drowning in your own vomit then we'll dump you on a fire and that'll be that. Natural selection at it's best. That isn't the good part though. As long as the crime isn't violent you get a free pass to commit it as well. You can steal somebody's car if you like it. You can break into anybody's house that you want. You can smash and grab at the liquor store or the local convenience store and run off with whatever you like. As long as you don't hurt another person in the process you can steal whatever the fuck you want but don't feel like working for.  This seems more than reasonable and I don't personally see how anybody could have a problem with that one to be honest.

Moore also said (don't blame me for him not spelling words out like he's texting a middle school friend)

"And the rest who r imprisoned- I dont believe 50% of them did what they're accused of. Lies. Greed. A modern day slave system. Poor whites 2"
"Imprison u, shoot u, sever your spine, crush your larynx, send u to war, keep u poor, call u a thug, not let u vote. But u can sing for us."
I know I for one love imprisoning poor people who haven't taken part in any manner of criminal activity whatsoever. I feel so happy when another poor man goes to prison even if he may not have done anything. Putting poor people in the can makes me feel so much safer and I know it does everybody else as well and that's why we do it. We fabricate a crime and we find the first poor person we can and lock them up and we all breathe a sigh of relief.

That aside let's talk about some of the other valid points. Voting is a good on to start. We all know there was something passed called the Fifteenth Amendment on February 3, 1870 that said under no circumstances should any "African-American" ever be allowed to vote. Wait, you say that's not what it said? Anyhow nobody cares about that. It probably didn't work. There was another one passed again later called the Voting Rights act of 1965 during the height of the Civil Rights movement by Lyndon B Johnson that said something along the lines of "Americans don't need no black African n*****s casting their goddamn votes round these parts." Oh wait, you say that one didn't say that either? I'm starting to question what I was taught in school.

Continuing on. Imprisoning people we have established that we already do that to get poor people out of our way. They're just gross anyway. Shooting people, I know this is true. White people are constantly running around the projects throwing up gang signs and shooting the fuck out of innocent blacks just for fun. I personally know a few who do it regularly but they paid for their licenses from the federal government to be allowed to do that.

Oh, you say that they're talking about that cop in North Carolina who shot the guy in the back while he was waddling away after being pulled over and had warrants for not paying child support. Why pay child support. Just knock em up and run out on them. It's how things are supposed to be. I'll give you that particular cop should be in jail. He shouldn't have shot the silly fat bastard and he shouldn't have tried to plant the taser and claim he was in danger. What he should have done was chased the man down, kicked him in fucking spleen and then explained to him that it's not acceptable to run from the police. I'm sure the jackass knew he shouldn't run from the police but if you're black we all know nobody cares what crime you committed or if you actually do threaten the lives of police or make them chase you because it's their job to let you commit crimes.

Americans need to remember that blacks were once slaves. Well, none that are still alive were. None that are still alive have ever personally met somebody who was, and many have never met anybody who has met somebody who was but that's beside the point. They once had a great injustice upon their people. It's not like anybody else ever has. It's not like anybody has ever fucked with the Jews. It's not like in the Middle East they're still currently enslaving people. It's not like the word slave comes from from Sclavus which means Slavic; from the frequent enslavement of Slavs (in case you didn't know, Slavs are white) in central Europe during the early Middle Ages. It's not like the Viking raiders ever took whites from England, Ireland, or Scotland as slaves. It's not like the Ottoman Empire raided Iceland in 1627 and took slaves from there as well as from Danish ships they captured. None of that shit ever happened. We all know that only black people have ever been slaves! Really? That's not true? Other people have been slaves in the past or killed off in vast numbers or both? I really wish I had learned something in school.

Maybe it's just because black slavery was the most recent maltreatment of a minority group that they can't get past it? Wait, you're telling me that between five and six million Jews, about 70,000 men, women and children with mental and physical handicaps, more than 200,000 gipsies, and somewhere around 200,000 Yugoslav and Polish civilians were exterminated during the Holocaust and this happened some time AFTER black slavery? Stop yanking my fucking chain!

This has got to be why Jews all over the world are so damn poor and downtrodden isn't it? Wait, are you seriously trying to tell me that their tiny little country of Israel which is surrounded by people trying to kill them has the 25th highest GDP in the world of almost 400 Billion Dollars? You're saying that Jewish people are thriving around the world and are often stereotyped as very successful business people? How can that be? Pretty much everybody has fucked with the Jews since the beginning of written history and yet as a whole they're very successful in their own country, in our country, and in many, many other countries. Yet still it's the black community who somehow deserves some manner of reparations and a constant leg up for what happened to them for like 200 years as opposed to a few centuries with the Jews. Makes perfect sense. We did kidnap them after all. Oh, goddamnit that's not really true either?

As it turns out Africa had a thriving slave trade long before any white man arrived to take part in it.

In some areas, such as the Muslim Caliphates of Cameroon and Northern Nigeria, up to half of the population lived in slavery. Across much of the continent, slave populations of up to 30% were not uncommon. Now that means we're talking about millions of people here.

When Britain took control of Nigeria in the early 1900's, they freed over 2 million slaves in that nation alone. And it wasn't just internal slavery, either. Africa had international slave trades long before the Europeans arrived. The Trans-Saharan slave trade - run by africans and arabs - brought sub-Saharan Africans across the Sahara into North Africa and the Ottoman Empire. That had been going on since as early as the 8th century... about 800 years before the Europeans ever got involved in African slavery! The Indian Ocean slave trade, run by Muslim East Africans, sold slaves to the Middle East. The only thing European involvement did was to change the direction and the economics of a trade which was already thriving, and had been for centuries. 

So it wasn't really the white devil who started it all? That's fascinating! Blacks did this to other blacks just like the majority of violence that still kills blacks today is perpetrated by other blacks and not whites. Funny how some things never change.

Enough of that for a moment. Let us return to Michael Moore and his gigantic chins. One would think those would go away with the constant workout his jaw muscles receive running his mouth and falating the minority community.

Just the other day Mr. Chins used his twatter account to criticize the NRA for wanting armed guards to protect schools. He said "Armed guards in schools? Hmmmm... Oh! That's why the 2 armed guards that were at Columbine HS that day were able to prevent the 15 deaths?" Yes Mr. Moore we all realize that when criminals have guns which they can get even when guns are made illegal (remember, we talked about UK gun crimes already) armed civilians protecting themselves using that same thing is never a good idea. We have established that you are more concerned with the rights and lives of criminals than you are with that of law abiding citizens. We know that no armed, law abiding citizen has ever stopped a gun crime using his or her own legal firearm except in this case, and this one, and this one, and this one, and this one, and all of these ones. So I mean, other than that we all understand it's not ever really possible for legally armed citizens to stop mass shootings so I get where fatty is coming from.

Those insignificant details out of the way I would love to here Michael (the chins) Moore explain why it's not alright for the average citizen to protect themselves from criminals who will have guns regardless of the law, afterall, not giving a flying fuck what the law says is pretty key to being a criminal, but he feels that he should have the right to be protected. He doesn't want armed guards protecting schools even if they might be able to help because he's sure they won't but he's alright with his bodyguard carrying a gun to protect him. That seems oddly hypocritical to me, how about you?

Mr. Moore also tweeted that "Guns are for hunters...and cowards." To some extent that statement is actually partially true. Liberal types are good for giving partial details to make their points. Guns are in fact good for hunters. Cowards do also like guns. Oddly, people who go on mass shooting sprees are pretty much always cowards. When you think about it, shooting a bunch of unarmed civilians and killing yourself is not exactly a brave and honorable way to deal with your problems and would therefore be placed more in the cowardly category. Attempting to take away other people's ability to defend themselves against cowards because you're such a coward that you're afraid of EVERYBODY makes you a coward as well. In an ideal world I would be alright with nobody having guns. If people settled things like I did when I was a kid it would all work out. Two people get pissed off and they fight until one can't get up go on and that's that. The problem is that cowards don't fight fairly and to level the playing field it's kinda hard for law abiding citizens to stand a chance if bringing fists into a gun fight. I understand Mr. Moore is far from intelligent enough to understand this but many of you might be.

I'll tell you what Mr. Moore, if you want my guns you can have them but you have to come and take them from me personally. I'll leave them locked up until the fight is over. When you leave the hospital feel free to come back and try again as many times as you like (the non-cowardly way). Until then we're just going to have to agree that you're a cunt who needs to fuck off and shut up.

I know it's slightly off topic but not really that far off. I like talking about Liberal twats and their gun grabbing schemes. Since we've been talking about a fat fuck with a huge mouth already, let's throw in another for good measure. Rosie O'Donnell.

An angry Rosie O’Donnell blamed the media and gun industry supporters for releasing information that her bodyguard had applied for a concealed weapons permit at the Greenwich, Conn., police department so he could better protect her children. Rosie who is an outspoken gun control advocate recently denied charges that she was a hypocrite for preferring that bodyguards for herself and her children be armed and she blamed the Greenwich police for covertly releasing the information to the press in order to paint her as a charlatan. She also said she was upset that reporters “informed the world” that her security personnel were unarmed, suggesting the revelation raised the risks to her family.

So Rosie doesn't want people to know she and her bodyguard are unarmed but she does want a world where criminals know that all other law abiding citizens are and that certainly doesn't make her a hypocrite or a charlatan, that's perfect common sense.

Rosie also said the NRA were partly responsible for spreading the word about the gun permit application, suggesting it was a politically motivated action and, in part, an attempt to find out whether or not her bodyguard was carrying an unlicensed firearm. 

Because even if he were carrying an unlicensed firearm that wouldn't make him a criminal who was breaking the law in any way shape or form so nobody would need to know that type of information at all. How dare they! As for political... using one's position as a famous daytime television to push the disarming of citizens for your own misguided purposes also isn't political in any way, shape, or form and that's the end of that argument.

Now I don't know about the rest of you but I am resting peacefully at night knowing that Rosie and Michael are running their mouths in the rare moments they aren't stuffing them with grease and all in the best interest of my as well as your and your family's safety. One day if these geniuses have their way the world will be the perfect place where nobody will ever try to do anything mean and nobody will ever obtain a gun simply because it's illegal. Just like marijuana, and cocaine, and heroin, and booze during the prohibition. We made those things illegal and we didn't see a single problem resulting from that. We have never seen a single, let alone thousands of crimes related to things that are already illegal. I know which way I'm voting in the future. Thanks for making things clear to me you super smart people you.

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