Abortion... But We Really Need To Protest Closer...

Allow me to first start off by saying that sometimes one must offend even their friends in order to keep proper harmony and balance in the world.  That having been said, I’m about to embark upon a subject that I suspect will net me some angry comments.  Abortion!  In order to lead into this subject, I think I’ll need to tell you a little story first.  Spin a wee yarn, build up to the point where you hate me.    I don't write to be liked though, I write to make a point about shit that pisses me off so here goes.




I honestly can’t stand children.  Horrible creatures they are.  Children cost a fortune and anymore they’re often disrespectful little twats who grow up to be disrespectful big twats because most of you (not all of course) don’t know how to parent.  I can’t give you a fool-proof sounding board to find out if you are one of those people but I can give you one that’s close.  It’s a pretty safe bet that if you consider yourself “liberal” or “progressive,” you are probably also an incompetent parent and your child is going to be an intolerable cunt and I secretly hope (not so much anymore I guess) that he/she trips and falls onto the metro tracks.  If you are overly religious the same is probably likely.  In case you haven’t guessed, I don’t honestly value human life all that much.  We're really nothing more than animals, just like a cat, rabbit, or lion.  Many people aren't that much smarter than those animals either.


Now, before you jump to conclusions, not in a crazy, psychotic sort of way, in an apathetic, “chances are that I just don’t give a shit what happens to you one way or another” sort of way.  I know, not very nice is it?  Not at all, I don’t care though.  Many people are intolerable cunts who are going to end up having a negative effect on my life at some point so I just don’t feel bad when bad things happen to them.  I just don't care at all.  If you need an example... did you vote for Obama?  If you answered yes, there’s a good chance that until you prove otherwise, I'll consider you an idiot and maybe even secretly hope you get run over by a bus (again, not all of you... some of you honestly didn’t know what you were doing).

What is the point of all this you might be thinking.  The point is basically this: abortion doesn’t bother me.  Mainly because it isn't my body and therefore it really isn't my choice.  I can't remember being a fetus so I doubt the fetus is so worried about it.  In fact, if my girlfriend ever got pregnant and wanted an abortion, I would absolutely encourage her.   I don't believe the embryo is a baby or even a living thing other than an equivalent to a few skin cells. 

Another point is that I would make a shitty parent because I would name the child “Mr. Bojangles” and then ignore the child and do something more immediately gratifying.  “Why don’t you go dig a hole while I get another beer.”  No, really, I would, they irritate me with their neediness and lack of intelligence or ability.  To me, they’re simply a smaller, less educated, and completely useless version of an adult and I have no time for this at all.

Then there’s those baby creatures.  Oh Jesus H Christ, those things.  They shit all over everything, they scream constantly, and they make maddeningly irritating sounds even when they aren’t screaming, shitting, pissing, or puking on something.  They wake up at all unholy hours of the night and they insist that you get up as well.  “Go the fuck back to sleep!  You can eat at breakfast time like every-goddamn-body else!  I have to work in the morning, unlike some people!”  They can’t walk so you’re forced to carry them everywhere.  They can’t take out the trash or do the dishes.  They’re not even any help with Jeopardy.  They might distract a panther if I were to be hiking with one at the time of a panther attack... but that would likely just get me in trouble so I’ll carry a partially thawed chicken instead.

Now, that having been said, would you want me to have children?  Would you want me teaching him/her everything I know?  Probably not... doesn’t make me wrong, it just makes you a smug cunt who thinks your ways are better than mine.  That’s alright though, I can appreciate that because I feel the same way.  I also feel the same way about others having babies.  My feeling is reinforced every time I see some stupid hippy asshole letting his/her children do whatever the fuck they want in public.  Climbing on shelves, standing by my booth in the restaurant and staring at me, throwing a fit, kicking my seat on a plane.

No, don’t tell your child “say hi, say hi, say hi.” I don’t want you child to say hi to me because they’re just going to be disappointed when I simply look the other way and ignore him/her.  I’m not going to indulge you or your child with so much as a smile.  Not everybody finds them as adorable as you do.  In fact, some of us are unsure that they are not a member of the same family of communicable diseases as Ebolavirus.  They are likely a carrier of several horrible diseases that I don’t want so control your child and keep them the hell away from me.

There are also the filthy-ass-greaseballs at Walmart or at the grocery store dragging 8 little dirtball bastard children along (who begin shoplifting at 3 years old) while she squanders more money that I paid her in welfare to support those little fucktards.  People who don’t want children but are too goddamn poor to buy condoms, too stupid to use them, or otherwise too retarded to prevent pregnancy time and again and again.  Accidents happen but not that goddamn many times and who would have sex with that anyway?!  For fucksake, that’s disgusting.  Abortion should not only be allowed but it should be required for many of these people.

My point is that some people shouldn’t have children, some people don’t deserve children, and for some people to even be near children should be a crime.  There are too many children being abused in foster care already.  There are too many children who aren’t getting adopted.  There are too many children in the care of biological parents who are incompetent or abusive.  There are just too many children.  There is also the fact that science proves that for quite some time after “conception” it is not an actual life anymore than a chunk of torn off fingernail would be.  The child does not become a child for quite some time but is instead a cluster of cells.  I look at it a little more harshly and I believe that if the child could not be born that day and live without assistance of medical devices then it is fair game for abortion.  No different than saying that god told me it’s a baby as soon as the spermy collides with the egg.  We’re all entitled to our opinion.

This story does, however, piss me off.

A federal appeals court has struck down an ordinance that created two types of buffer zones around medical facilities after a Christian legal group challenged the law on behalf of a nurse who protests abortions.

Which would be fine except for 2 things.  If you are a nurse you are fucking with God’s will to begin with.  All medical professionals are, and if they aren’t, they’re just doing absolutely nothing at all.  If go the God route, if he wants you to survive, you will regardless of intervention.  If God wants you dead and a doctor saves you, wouldn’t that be a bad thing?

There is also the minor detail of the fact that she is a nurse!  If you are a nurse it is not your job to decide what is or is not right, wrong, moral, or immoral!  If you are a nurse it is your job to do what the doctor you work for tells you to do.  I don’t get to decide which parts of my job I would like to do and which ones I would like to skip simply because I don’t like them.  I have to do my whole job, all of it, because that’s what they fucking hired me to do!  If I don’t I would get kicked the fuck out on the street and they would hire somebody who would do it.  This nurse should be no different.

In the ruling, court found the 2005 Pittsburgh ordinance unduly restricted protesters from passing out leaflets and participating in other forms of free speech. The Pittsburgh law bans protesters from standing within 15 feet of entrances but also makes them stand 8 feet from clients in a 100-foot buffer around entrances.  The appeals court found the zones violate the free speech rights of the protesters who find it difficult to hand leaflets to clinic clients.

So the protesters need to stand closer so they can pass out leaflets do they?  No, they want to be disruptive of the woman getting in to attempt to discourage it in the first place.  Nobody who isnt’t fully retarded thinks that passing out a fucking leaflet to a woman on the way into an abortion clinic is going to cause an epiphany and a change of mind.  I can honestly say that if some “protester” tried to shove a leaflet at me as I walked past, I would forcefully deposit that leaflet directly into his/her stomach.  If they want your religion and your

The court found that either zone by itself could be legal. The U.S. Supreme Court has already upheld a Colorado state law establishing a similar 100-foot zone and decisions by courts in Florida and New York to ban protesters from within several feet of medical facility entrances.

"This is an extremely important victory for pro-life speech. The court drew a well-needed line in sand," David Cortman, the Alliance Defense Fund attorney who challenged the ordinance, said Monday.

Previously, city attorneys have argued the two zones were necessary to accomplish complementary functions. The 15-foot buffer zone keeps protesters from blocking entrances, while the 100-foot zone keeps protesters from following or harassing clients as they approach the clinics.

Cortman's group, based in Scottsdale, Ariz., sued to challenge the ordinance in 2006 on behalf of Mary Kathryn Brown, a nurse from Indiana Township, a suburb of Pittsburgh. Brown has spent more than 15 years attempting to persuade women not to have abortions by speaking to them and handing out literature about the procedure's physical dangers.

But it agreed with Brown's argument that the two buffer zones combined with traffic noise sometimes prevent her from talking to women using the normal, conversational tone she believes is most effective. The 100-foot zone also keeps her from handing leaflets to women before they enter the 15-foot buffer around clinic entrances, she claimed.

It is hard to be a pain in the fucking ass from too far away, this is a fact.  Have we considered the physical dangers that psychotic right wing clinic bomber types might pose?  Not everybody protesting is rational and wants to talk instead of intimidate and/or cause harm.  The zones should stay for the sake of order and safety for all.  I have seen protests dealing with abortion and I’ve seen how rabid some of these pro-life nutters can get.

The simple fact of the matter is that people need to mind their own business.  It’s not you, it’s not your child, it’s not your life.  Take your religion, your god, do with it as you wish.  Feel happy and smug in knowing that you’re going to heaven and leave the rest of us heathins to do our own thing.  All you are doing is creating more molesters, drunks, addicts, serial killers, and other dregs of society by ensuring that more babies will be born unwanted and in many cases into families that can do nothing aside from fucking them up.

I would like to bet that there would be one hell of an uproar if Muslims stood in front of your church door, protested wildly, and tried to pass out shit and convince you of how much better Islam is and that your way is wrong.  Just because you don’t agree doesn’t mean it’s wrong.  One final thought because I’ve heard it so many times.  Not even in the case of rape.  If you believe that, I sincerely hope the next case is you, or your wife or daughter who gets pregnant as a result of rape.  Then we’ll see how high and godly you are.  We will then see if you can and how well you overcome that trial.  What is good for you isn’t always good for others.  Mind your own business and find something more useful to do with your time.