Monday, December 21, 2009

Angels Falls Isn’t So Angelic Says Chavez

The Crazy Fucker who is running Venezuela doesn’t want to call the waterfall “Angel Falls" anymore.  Dictator “President” Hugo Chavez wants to revert back to the indigenous name doesn’t really matter.

The falls were first brought to the attention of the world when US pilot Jimmy Angel first spotted them in 1937.  Since then the falls have become one of Venezuela's top tourist attractions.  Nobody is quite sure what the others might be.

Big Hugo pictured here

and in a later photo

cannot accept that the falls were discovered by an American.  "How could we accept this idea that the falls were discovered by a guy who came from the United States in a plane. If we do that, that would be like accepting that nobody was living here," Chavez mused on his weekly radio and television show, "Hello Mr Megalomaniac President."

While this is true that the falls were surely not “discovered” by Angel, it is also a little far fetched to believe that tiny black men wearing garden vegetables on their penis’ and killing chinchillas for dinner using sharp sticks are going to do a very good job getting the word out about sight seeing options.

"Nobody should speak of Angel Falls any more," Chavez said.  "That is ours, and was a long time before Angel ever got there."

Chavez first proposed calling it the “America Is The Evil Devil Country And I Hate Them Falls” but many said in the native Venezuelan language it just didn’t have a good ring to it.

In indigenous Pemon, the falls are called Kerepakupai meru, meaning... well, something about deep places and falls but I drifted off while they were explaining it.

Chavez likes to change the names of things, it helps make him feel more important and his tiny penis grows a fraction of a millimeter each time he does.

After he came to power in 1999 the herptified cunt Chavez changed the name of his own country from just plain Venezuela to the Bolivarian Republic of Venezuela because it obviously sounds more moronic Marxist proper.  That move was to pay homage to independence fighter Simón José Antonio de la Santísima Trinidad Bolívar Palacios y Blanco... (no, seriously, that’s his name) but most just call him Simon Bolivar and unless you give a flying fuck about South American history he is otherwise irrelevant... I don’t, so I’ll move on without explaining further.

The sphincter Chavez then renamed a mountain in Caracas, previously known as Cerro Avila, with its indigenous name, Guaraira Repano which might mean “Little Fat Dictator Who Looks As Though He Has A Touch Of Down Syndrome Mountain” in the native tongue.

He then renamed megalomaniacal paranoid schizophrenia as self confidence.

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