America... Perpetually Lowering The Bar... Fuck Yeah!

Many guys dream of landing that perfect supermodel girlfriend one day. That woman you can show off to your friends. The woman who has a body of a goddess that causes you to take pause in awe when you catch a glimpse of it. Many guys simply don't have the looks or maybe the money to get that girl but there might just be hope for you yet. This is the age of the ginormous models! *ECHO FOR EFFECT*

Lizzie Miller, age 20 is a "model" and I use the term loosely because obviously they do. She recently "rocked the magazine industry" when her photo appeared alongside an article on women’s body confidence in the September issue of Glamour magazine. The photo shows Miller flashing a candid smile and a floppy belly that hangs over her thong bikini.

Within a day, Glamour was inundated with comments, overwhelmingly positive, about the magazine’s showcasing a beautiful model unafraid to let it all hang out. (and hang it did)

Glamour editor Cindi Leive says Miller is proving to be a game changer when it comes to fashion magazines — which often pay lip service to the idea of representing all women, but usually opt for the carrot-sticks-and-cigarettes, skin-and-bones types when it comes to cover girls.

“I think it absolutely will,” Leive told Matt Lauer on TODAY Monday. “You get a reaction like this and you can really see it. It’s also a sign of the times that women are really looking for a little bit more authenticity and a little bit less artifice in every part of their lives.

Ironically, the fashion mountain came out of what amounted to a molehill of a picture. Miller’s life-altering pose was not on the cover of Glamour; it was just a 3-inch-by-3-inch photo illustration buried on page 194.

“Immediately, within hours of the magazine coming out, we had people telling us they were e-mailing it to friends, and that it was the first time they felt good about their own bodies, looking at this picture,” Leive told Lauer.

One reader wrote to Glamour saying, “Get this hot momma off of page 194 and put her on the cover!”

Really? Do we honestly want to see a flappy belly hanging out on the magazine rack? Bet you a hundred bucks it wasn't a man who said that. If it was, it was not a white man. (don't blame me, stereotypes are there for a reason) No, we don't want to see that, the only people who do want to see that are those with flappy bellies who want to justify their own situation.

Another reader said, “Thank you for showing a picture of a BEAUTIFUL woman who has a stomach and thighs that look like mine! I have NEVER seen that in a magazine before.”

Because thunder thighs are certainly something to aspire to. Bust out the chicken wings and sit the fuck down before you burn a calorie.

Yet another said, “This woman rocks and we need more women like her to make a mark on what the real woman looks like.”

A "real woman"? Oh yeah? I don't fucking think so lady. To show what "the average woman" looks like... yeah, that could work. I'm going to be a real bastard for a minute and I'm going to say that if you put my idea of a "real woman" side by side with this lady's idea of a "real woman" and asked a thousand men to choose by body type alone, mine is getting chosen at minimum 3/4 of the time.

Now, I have a few things to say about this so hear me out before you start bitching. If you then would like to commence bitching, by all means, I would honestly love to hear your arguments. This woman is big, not obese big, but diesel big. In that one photo above she looks like she's debating how many times she could bench press Cindi Leive. This is like Helga the East German powerlifter. At 180 pounds, this woman is only 20 pounds lighter than me and I'm a bodybuilder (maybe not a good one, but I put in my time).

The simple fact of the matter is that I believe men like what men like. Obviously, every man is different but some things are the norm, and some simply are not. Again, obviously, women and men alike would love to be found attractive by everybody exactly as we are, but that just isn't how it works and you simply can't force it. Nobody ever told me what was supposed to be attractive, some women just are and some women just aren't. Just like some men like men and some women like women. That's not learned, it just happens. You can argue it all day but I honestly think ads and television and such have very little to do with that, especially since I have eccentric tastes. Essentially what I'm saying is that in my opinion, it's more nature, than nurture.

What many men like is something that may not be "runway model thin" but leans more toward that direction. Thin implies a lot of things in our culture, including the likelihood of being fit. Thin also means a hard body that is aesthetically far more pleasing to the eye of most than flaps and rolls. (I SAID MOST, NOT ALL)

Enough of my nature vs nurture argument. What my real point is is this. If you show a number of people photographs of thin (not anorexic), muscular, flabby (average), and fat (obese) people and ask them to select their body by choosing a picture, you would almost never get anything but thin and or muscular except in those who have already been brainwashed. You must then consider that many will say they're happy with their body and feel beautiful, etc., but would they honestly stick with that statement if they had to do no work to change their body other than simply admitting and pointing to a photo of the desired result? I think not. Granted some people are just naturally big, and some people find that attractive, which is perfectly fine. The majority of people are not naturally big and this attempting to shift the paradigm is simply horseshit.

This is yet another example of Americans lowering the bar. If you can't jump over it at the prescribed height, do everything you can to bring it down a few notches until you can ooze over it like the slug you are. Going to the gym is hard. Eating right isn't very fun. Being a turd who watches tv all night and eats ice cream is pleasing. So, if meeting a higher goal is too difficult or not totally enjoyable, attempt to convince others that the goal isn't a good one anymore. This is the adult equivalent of not keeping score at a little league game and letting everybody play regardless of lack of talent.

Whatever happened to working hard toward a goal? What happened to aspiring to be something better than what we are? Nowadays, it just takes too much work to go out and take a run or go for a bike ride after work. Nowadays, it seems to be the goal to just bitch and whine that it's not reasonable and maybe not that much healthier anyhow so we need to stop being misogynistic pigs who expect women (and men in some cases) to live up to this impossible standard. What we are doing is trying to change the requirements to get into the special forces so we can take the glory away from them simply because we personally were not good enough to get in. I call bullshit on you America, get off your lazy ass and run off the ponch or shut the fuck up and let us be attracted to what we're attracted to.


Shake that ass show us what yer worth, shake that ass, knock us off the earth!

For those of you who actually enjoy staying fit, hope you like fatties because the percentage is getting higher and higher. On the bright side, you can hide a spare house or care key under his/her spare tire! It's great storage space!