Closing Gitmo!

Olé! Let the ridiculous, liberal, hippie, bullshit begin! El presidente elect Obama, AND my own personal hero, because that is the trendy thing to say, has some major decisions to make in closing down the Guantanamo Bay detention facility. Apparently it is going to be "a challenge" to close the facility "any time soon," mentioning "within the first 100 days of his administration." Obama, YES WE CAN! My heart swells with pride and happiness like the sight of sunshine on late april dew drops when politicians actually get priorities straight.

Fuck the housing crisis, fuck the disastrous economy, fuck massive job loss and homelessness, fuck rampant violence and overflowing prisons, failing schools and children who can't compete on a global scale, and fuck the 70% or so of United States citizens who are obese now! That shit is not important, we'll worry about that garbage later, there are hugs to distribute and Hajis to free! Oh shit, did I say Hajis? I meant peaceful Muslim men who just want to help make the world a better place for all mankind whether he be Christian, Jew, Buddhist, or Mulim.

Whew!... It's a damn good thing that there are no real terrorists there to worry about! Only a lot misunderstood people who are down on their luck and just made a poor choice in life. They never had a chance to do good and they made a mistake, we all do it from time to time. We can't hold these poor lost souls indefinitely in this place and deprive them of their rights as citizens of a peaceful and loving world. We need more human rights lawyers, call the ACLU, they're heroes to the downtrodden! We need to give Haji a big hug, a green card, and a welfare check... maybe a quick "happy ending" and send him off to be a newly minted U.S. citizen, right left wingers? If we would just do that he will immediately begin making positive contributions to society and probably will even cure cancer.

Obama wants to set up procedures that "abide by our constitution." I'm not sure what I think about that, King W didn't need no stinkin' constitution! I say we burn that obsolete piece of scrap paper. I'm so terribly confused about all of this. Obama says we need to be sure we follow the constitution, and Premier Bush and his people say these prisoners are "the worst of the worst" and if we let them out "they'll git ya!" Whatever are we to do? I say we do the right thing and we let the detainees decide.

That's what good Americans would do. Some of them, like Khalid Sheikh Mohammed want to be executed to achieve martyrdom, I say we nail his ass to a giant cross in the sun and help him reach his goal. Then we do the same with any other martyr wannabes. Next, we let all of the others who are "innocent" go home. We'll give them some of those little orange arm floaties, a compass, and a waterproof map, and send them on their way home... after we chum the water of course. This way, Everybody Wins!

I don't get the problem anyhow, this is like club med for people who fuck camels and wipe their ass with their hand. Give them a Koran and let them babble about "allahu akbar" all day within the confines of their barbed wire where it's not hurting anybody. I say we just cordon off an entire island and confine all of them to it indefinitely, it fucking worked for Australia now didn't it!