Tuesday, January 27, 2009

Nigeria, These People Shall Cure Cancer Soon

In Nigeria, a Goat has been detained over an armed robbery.

Vigilantes heroically apprehended the cunning thief shortly after he tried to steal a Mazda. One of the perpetrators escaped capture. In a desperate attempt to elude authorities and escape incarceration, clever ne'er-do-well number 2 used his Level 9 Wizardry skills to morph into a goat.

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When his pursuers caught up with our Billy Goat Gruff, he was in the process of being anally violated by another man who exclaimed "Allahu Akbar!" before he darted into an alley repeating "Allahu Akbar!" over and over as he ran (this part cannot be confirmed but in this writer's opinion it seems reasonable enough).


Sir Bedevere has already begun questioning witnesses and employing scientific process to decide if the goat weighs the same as a several small rocks and is therefore made of wood and is, therefore, a witch.

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If convicted of witchcraft the goat will be urged to shapeshift back into a human so that it can be properly tried and sentenced however they sentence failed car theives in that shithole of a country on that cesspool of a continent.

At least it wasn't a penis stealing shrubbery again!

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