Thursday, April 9, 2009

See Americans Aren't The Only Morons In The World By Far

I would like to give Australia my recognition as cunts of the week for this little gem of douchebaggery that would even make the bible belt proud.

Two leading Australian Rules players have been fined A$5,000 (2,428 pounds) each for their part in making an offensive video showing a rubber chicken simulating sex with a chicken carcass.

The video, which was posted on the internet this week but subsequently removed, has been described as tasteless and offensive to women.

So let me just sum this up to get it straight in my head. In australia they allow women to walk around topless on the beach (an activity of which I am a huge fan), but it's offensive to make a joke video of a rubber chicken having sex with a dead chicken? This is not just offensive to anybody, it's offensive to women?

Ok I'm confused, why is this offensive to women? Really, I don't know, how does a rubber chicken and a dead chicken have anything to do with a human woman? If anybody can explain this one to me please do. I promise I will not hold it against you for being what I'm absolutely sure is an idiotic and generally retarded comparison. Are we saying since women have sex they are like chickens?

Wait, this is like the arguement that goes along the following lines?

Sir Bedevere: There are ways of telling whether she is a witch.
Peasant 1: Are there? Oh well, tell us.
Sir Bedevere: Tell me. What do you do with witches?
Peasant 1: Burn them.
Sir Bedevere: And what do you burn, apart from witches?
Peasant 1: More witches.
Peasant 2: Wood.
Sir Bedevere: Good. Now, why do witches burn?
Peasant 3: ...because they're made of... wood?
Sir Bedevere: Good. So how do you tell whether she is made of wood?
Peasant 1: Build a bridge out of her.
Sir Bedevere: But can you not also build bridges out of stone?
Peasant 1: Oh yeah.
Sir Bedevere: Does wood sink in water?
Peasant 1: No, no, it floats!... It floats! Throw her into the pond!
Sir Bedevere: No, no. What else floats in water?
Peasant 1: Bread.
Peasant 2: Apples.
Peasant 3: Very small rocks.
Peasant 1: Cider.
Peasant 2: Gravy.
Peasant 3: Cherries.
Peasant 1: Mud.
Peasant 2: Churches.
Peasant 3: Lead! Lead!
King Arthur: A Duck.
Sir Bedevere: ...Exactly. So, logically...
Peasant 1: If she weighed the same as a duck... she's made of wood.
Sir Bedevere: And therefore...
Peasant 2: ...A witch!

Am I right? I must be, it makes perfect sense. Well, it makes as much sense as how that video could be offensive to women, or anybody else with an IQ higher than his/her shoe size. Thanks australia, you just keep up staring at what I'm sure is a simply magnificent view of the inside of your own arse.

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