Friday, October 9, 2009

Nobel Peace Prize Becomes (or was already) A Colossal Joke

It turns out that now they give the Nobel Peace Prize for being a giant failure as long as you're shooting your blanks within the confines of the gargantuan Socialist wank-fest that is the majority of the world today.

Obama won the 2009 Nobel Peace Prize on Friday in a "stunning decision" (yeah I'm stunned that the poster boy for bending over and receiving is being rewarded by the givers) Apparently they want to encourage his "initiatives" to reduce nuclear arms, ease tensions with the Muslim world and stress diplomacy and cooperation rather than unilateralism.

Which is perfectly reasonable. Most of these countries have no nuclear arms to begin with and many of them are happily becoming overrun with angry, intolerant, Muslims faster than Rosie O'Donnell can consume the corpse of a sacrificed virgin. Now, in the name of appeasement and they're rewarding the leader of the one country that was previously holding out but is now trying to force us to joining them.

It's funny that the worse Obama gets, the more incompetent, the more he fails, the more they like him (go figure). It's almost like a group of outcast gimps coming upon one of their own in the forest. They can tell by the limp that he's one of them and they're approaching with the know that he's one of their own.

Nobel observers pretended to be shocked by the "unexpected" choice so early in the Obama debacle, which began less than two weeks before the Feb. 1 nomination deadline. This would mean he was nominated after 2 weeks, before he even did a damn thing. That's like, well, throwing 100 retards in a room and picking a leader before you know any of them.

White House press secretary Robert Gibbs said Obama woke up to the news a little before 6 a.m. but had no immediate comment because the teleprompter had to warm up first. The Nobel Committee didn't inform Obama before the announcement because "Waking up a president in the middle of the night, this isn't really something you do," and it's a obviously a farce anyhow so what was the point.

The Nobel Committee lauded the change in global mood wrought by Obama's calls for peace and cooperation but recognized initiatives that have yet to bear fruit: reducing the stock of nuclear arms in peaceful countries while ignoring the building of nuclear stocks in rogue countries, easing American conflicts with Muslim nations by giving in to every ridiculous demand they make every single time they make one and strengthening the U.S. role in combating climate change which used to be global warming until too many people wised up and realized that only parts of the globe were warming and only half of the time.

"Only very rarely has a person to the same extent as Obama captured the world's attention and given its people hope for a better future," Jagland said. Another example would be the Bolsheviks and the Nazi party, they captured a lot of attention and gave people in their countries hope initially as well.

Obama's election and foreign policy moves caused a dramatic improvement in the image of the U.S. around the world and mostly among the ones that want to see us chopped down to their pitiful level. A 25-nation poll of 27,000 people released in July found double-digit boosts to the percentage of people viewing the U.S. favorably in countries around the world. If many of those countries happen to be Islamic countries with a mind on subverting our culture while we stand by slack-jawed and pretending all is well, so be it, Obama finds that to be perfectly acceptable.

Still, the U.S. remains at war in Iraq and Afghanistan, which were oddly going a whole lot better while Bush was in office (not good, but better, and that was because it was basically still leftist controlled then). The U.S. Congress has yet to pass a law reducing carbon emissions, which really makes no difference because all the carbon we can manage to emmit really isn't going to change anything. There has been little significant reduction in global nuclear stockpiles since Obama took office which makes sense because very few countries actually have them, the peaceful countries are the only ones who want to reduce them, and the rogue countries are willing to wait, lie, and then after we disarm, blow us to hell. Nothing but time brother, nothing but time!

"So soon? Too early. He has no contribution so far. He is still at an early stage. He is only beginning to act," said former Polish President Lech Walesa, a 1983 Nobel Peace laureate. That's a great way to look at it Mr. Polish guy, let me look at something that way too. Uncle Chester the Child Molester doesn't start off groping little Suzy either, he appears to be a great and loving uncle at first. He's always doing things that look like nice gestures and volunteering to help, then BAAAAM! By then it's too late and a lifetime of therapy is necessary to fix the problems the tricky bastard caused.

"This is probably an encouragement for him to act. Let's see if he perseveres. Let's give him time to act," Walesa said. "Lets hope for the sake of all that isn't retarded that he does not persevere but instead gets impeached by those of us with any sense left" stated Dillinger.

The award appeared to be a slap at Bush from a committee that harshly criticized Obama's predecessor for his largely unilateral military action in the wake of the Sept. 11 terror attacks. Because we all know from experience that the European policy to being attacked is for the most part to simply cry and surrender. It worked very well the first time when the Wermacht rolled over the continent leaving a wake of terror and destruction with little useful resistance 60 odd years ago.

"You have to remember that the world has been in a pretty dangerous phase," Jagland said. "And anybody who can contribute to getting the world out of this situation deserves a Nobel Peace Prize." What he forgets is that the dangerous people don't want to conform, they simply want to hold their guns and keep saying they'll drop theirs if we drop ours and Obama believes (like a moron) that they won't shoot us when we do. I'm personally getting tired of this Jagland douchebag and his ridiculous, socialist ideas based on the failing system in his own country that try to tell us what will and will not work" Dillinger said.

Unlike the other Nobel Prizes, which are awarded by Swedish institutions, the peace prize is given out by a five-member committee elected by the Norwegian Parliament. Like the Parliament, the committee has a leftist slant, with three members elected by left-of-center parties. Jagland worked over the president's member for a bit and then said the decision to honor Obama was unanimous.

Archbishop Desmond Tutu of South Africa, who won the prize in 1984, said Obama's award shows great things are expected from him in coming years. I think you will all find this promising for the future of America. We can aspire to be just like Africa! What a role model they are too, our kids will be born with AIDS, an AK-47, and half starved already, it'll be SWEEEET!

"It's an award coming near the beginning of the first term of office of a relatively young president that anticipates an even greater contribution towards making our world a safer place for all," Tutu said. "It is an award that speaks to the promise of President Obama's message of hope." That is actually just an eloquent way of saying that it's an award that is given solely for the purpose of idiots on the left giving a prize to more idiots on the left.

Until just before the award, speculation had focused on a wide variety of candidates besides Obama: Zimbabwe's Prime Minister Morgan Tsvangirai, a Colombian senator, a Chinese dissident and an Afghan woman's rights activist, among others. I'm not even going to waste my time pointing out exactly why comparing Obama to these other candidates is a complete and utter joke. In fact, it's disrespectful to the other candidates. The Nobel committee received a record 205 nominations for this year's prize, though it was not immediately apparent who nominated Obama. Now would be a good time to point out that they also gave this award to Al Gore.

Obama was to meet with his top advisers on the Afghan war on Friday to consider a request by Gen. Stanley McChrystal to stop being a fuck-up and causing war effort to slide further down a very steep hill. The U.S. commander in Afghanistan wants to send as many as 40,000 more troops to Afghanistan as the U.S war there enters its ninth year. As you'll all likely remember that Obama ran for office on the premise that he would do exactly this, stay in the war, send more troops, and fuck it all up. Oh, wait, you say he didn't? He said he was going to pull us out of the war? Oh, I stand corrected.

Obama ordered 21,000 additional troops to Afghanistan earlier this year and has continued to cripple them with left-wing, girl-scout-like, Democratic rules of engagement. Militants in Afghanistan and Pakistan can still safely shoot our troops then throw down their weapons and pretend they're sorry thus being given U.S. citizenship. A strategy devised by the U.N. Our attacks often kill or injure "civilians" who had previously been firing weapons in the direction of our troops.

In July talks in Moscow, Obama and Russian President Dmitry Medvedev agreed that their negotiators would work out a new limit on delivery vehicles for nuclear warheads of between 500 and 1,100. Meanwhile Vladimir Putin had sex with a 24 year old former gymnast while he drank fine vodka and laughed at Obama's naivete. They also agreed that warhead limits would be reduced from the current range of 1,700-2,200 to as low as 1,500, to which Putin took another shot, another pump, and laughed again before flexing his pecs. The United States now as about 2,200 such warheads, compared to about 2,800 for the Russians who will be simply hiding the ones they have a little better.

Former Peace Prize winner Mohamed El "Nobody Cares" Baradei (oddly muslim name... hmm), director general of the International Atomic Energy Agency in Vienna, said Obama has already provided outstanding leadership in the effort to prevent nuclear proliferation and drove the world much, much closer toward impotence in the face of the Islamic threat.

"In less than a year in office, he has transformed the U.S. Economy into a complete disaster and caused Americans to change way we look at ourselves and the world we live in He has also rekindled hope that we'll finally be on the losing end of a World War." El Baradei said... well, I might have added some of that. "He has shown an unshakable commitment toward idiotic policies, respect for those who will never return it and dialogue as a means of pretending there are no conflicts when there in fact are many."

Obama also has attempted to restart stalled talks between the Israelis and Palestinians. In other words, to give Israeli land to Palestinians and cause the total destruction of the Jewish state and people. Moderate Palestinians (which are a group largely residing in the imagination) said they felt undermined by Obama's failure to back up his demand for a freeze.

Nominators for the prize include former laureates a bunch of far left douchebags who would be mostly irrelevant if there weren't so damn many of them. "We trust that this award will strengthen his commitment, as the leader of the most powerful nation in the world, to continue promoting an atmosphere of surrender to militant rogue powers" said some guy... with my added reality based commentary.

In his 1895 will, Alfred Nobel stipulated that the peace prize should go "to the person who shall have done the most or the best work for fraternity between the nations and the abolition or reduction of standing armies and the formation and spreading of peace congresses." Again you'll note the lofty imaginations and diluted idiocracy inherent in that statement. The only thing they left out is that the other nations we'll be fraternizing with are already farther down the road to total destruction than we are and they're still very wrongly confident they're going the right way.

The committee has taken a wide interpretation of Nobel's guidelines, expanding the prize beyond peace mediation to include efforts to combat poverty, disease and climate change. As long as Obama continues destroying or at least ignoring the wants and needs of his own country and the people in it, the nominees will continue to massage his junk and call him deserving. This would be laughable if it weren't for excellent view some of us have of the ground coming toward us at lightning speeds while we continue to tail-spin downward.


Not for long if Obama can help it.

I just went over to Atlas Shrugs and found this video so I thought I would come back and throw it in here. It's saying basically similar things (only not so harshly) but I figured it couldn't hurt my points.

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